Another chance..
Source: http://theduchessofclarence.tumblr.com/
DISCLAIMER:
This is a fan fiction using characters from American
Idol, which is trademarked by Fox Broadcasting Company.
All characters are contestants in American Idol, and I do not claim
any ownership over them or the American Idol Franchise. This fan fiction is just
for entertainment purposes only and not for monetary purposes.
Chapter I
At the After Party
~Jessica’s POV~
“Hey Skinny Me, Can I dance with you?” I hear Colton
asking me for the second time tonight. “Sure!” I said to him. I walk over to
Colton, my trusted confidant and best friend among my AI family, and put my arms
on his shoulder as Phillip’s version of We’ve got tonight played on the
background.
“Hmmm…” Sighing, I look at the people around for a
glimpse of the person that has been on my mind since we left Nokia Theatre. “Is
something wrong? You seem preoccupied.” Colton asked with pure concern reflected
in his eyes. “Yeah, I’m okay, just tired… I guess” I said, trying to place a
smile on my face.
“You know that you’re the best performer for me,
right?” said Colton. I don’t answer back and just smile at him. I have always
known that Colton has my back no matter what happens. Even if I didn’t win, I’m
still glad to have been given a chance to know my AI family.
As the song ends, it shifts to a livelier tune. I
excuse myself and tell Colton that I wanna rest my tired feet with an apologetic
smile on my face. He nods and shuffles away to where the other finalists are
dancing. I walk over to the couch and sit down, resting my head on the backrest
and closing my eyes. I begin to think about the things that happened earlier.
~Flashback~
Phillip walks over to
his family after singing his winning song, and wraps his arm around them. I feel
happy for him because I know he deserves this. I clap and cheer for him as all
his loved ones cry tears of joy. I silently wipe a stray tear that has fallen
down my cheek.
“Ooohhh, That’s so sweet”
I hear Shannon say. I turn my head to see what she’s squealing about when I saw
Phillip and Hannah locked in a passionate embrace. I try to smile and show
enthusiasm but I’m unable to. I feel something different, I don’t know what it
is.. Then, all of a sudden, Phillip kissed Hannah to the delight of the crowd.
My heart stops and I felt a tear burning a hot trail against my flushed cheeks.
I fought hard to stop any additional tears from falling down when all of a
sudden I feel someone pull me in a tight embrace.
“Col…” I begin to say,
but he immediately places a finger to my lips and gives me a smile. He then
leads me to the backstage so I can prepare for the interviews after the finale.
~End of Flashback~
I opened my eyes and saw someone approaching me.
“Hey, you…” said Phillip. “What are you doing here all alone? Why aren’t you
dancing with the others?” He asked. “Just resting my aching feet, I’ve been
running in stilettos the whole day.” I said. “I was looking for you at the
theatre but.. uhm.. i.. well… i.. uhm.. saw you and uhm.. Colton heading
backstage.” He said. “Ohh, yeah… Colton brought me backstage so I can get ready
for the interviews.” I said. “Why were you looking for me?” I asked, “Well, I
wanted to see how you were after the announcement and I just wanted to say thank
you for being such an amazing person. You’re one of the sweetest girls I know…
And I know you’re gonna make it big in this industry.” He said. “Awww.. schucks,
that’s so sweet of you.. I’m not sweet, I’m fierce!” I joked. “Hahaha!!!” He
laughed. “No Jess, I mean it! You’re a sweet girl and any guy would be lucky to
have you in their life.” He said. “Thanks” I said.
~A Few hours later, back at the AI
Mansion~
“It’s been a tiring day, and I know you need to
sleep. So, Good night and sweet dreams Jess…” Colton said with a kiss on my
forehead. “Hey! You’ve been stealing kisses the whole night!” I said laughing.
Colton grinned and went out of my room.
I tried to sleep but the adrenaline rush from the
finale was still coursing through my veins. I stood up and sneaked to the open
deck of the house. Careful not to bump into anyone or be spotted by Colton I
managed to get to the deck without being seen. I sit down on one of the lounge
chairs and silently look up at the stars.
Thoughts of Phillip entered my mind. I remember
hanging out with him at the recording studio, going to rehearsals for the
finale, going to interviews and lounging here in the deck. In a way I missed
spending time with him. And I wondered if things are going to change now. We’re
no longer inside the AI bubble and it means that we could go back to our former
lives. I felt tears running down my cheeks, but I let them fall freely. I was
sobbing quietly, oblivious to the things happening around me, that I didn’t
notice someone was walking towards the deck.
~~ End of Chapter 1~~
Chapter II
“Jess is that you?” I hear a man asking. Quickly
wiping my tears away, I looked to see who was there with me. My heart sank when
I saw Phillip walking towards me. Concern and confusion clearly etched in his
face. “What are you doing here? Why are you crying? Are you hurt?” He asked as
he rushed to my side, trying to figure out what caused me to cry. “I’m okay, I
guess the stress from the week just caught up with me” I lied. He didn’t seem
convinced and looked me in the eye, as if my eyes would show him what’s wrong. I
forced a smile, hoping that it would make him drop the subject. I didn’t want
him to coax me any further. I might accidentally slip and let him know how much
I miss spending time with him.
“I’m okay now, don’t think about it too much, but
thanks…” I said smiling at him. My heart and mind floating from seeing how
flustered and concerned he was. “I’ve got your back Jess, you’re a great girl
and I won’t let anyone hurt you!” He said. “Thanks Phil.” I said.
A few minutes later, we laid back on the lounge
chairs and looked at the stars. “Jess…” Phillip said. I looked at him and saw
him looking at me. “Yes?” I said. “Promise me that even if you become a
superstar, you won’t forget me!” He said with a mischievious smile. “You’re
crazy” I said laughing. “You don’t have to worry about that, I think I should be
the one asking you not to forget me Mr. Heartthrob! Hahaha!” I answered back.
“That’s impossible… That would never happen… You’re not the type of person who
can be easily forgotten, nor would I like to do so” He said then went back to
looking at the stars. I smiled and thanked God that it was dark and Phillip
couldn’t see how big my grin is.
~~
I must have dozed off because when I opened my eyes,
I saw Phillip carrying me back inside. I pretended to still be asleep and buried
my head in his chest. I could smell his cologne and noted how musky it smelled,
it was perfect for him.
Upon entering my room, he gently laid me on the bed.
I felt him sit down on my bed and hold my hand.”Jess, I have so much to tell
you… but I need a little bit more time… I can’t…” He said. I waited for him to
continue, but he didn’t. He just tucked me in bed and kissed my hand and
left.
As soon as I heard him close my door, I opened my
eyes and stared at the ceiling. Wondering what it is that he wanted to tell me
but couldn’t. I wanted to ask him what he meant, but I need to give him time to
figure out what he wants to do. Smiling, I closed my eyes to get my much needed
sleep.
~~
I woke up early the following day. Phillip and I
together with the other finalists have an early morning meeting today. After
taking a shower and changing, I went to the dining room to eat breakfast with my
AI family. “Good Morning! Pretty Girl…” Colton greeted with a smile. “You look
gorgeous today! I like it!” He said. “Doesn’t she always?” Deandre said. “Stop
it you two… I just got to sleep well last night” I said smiling. I sat down
in-between Colton and Deandre. “Eat this Jess, You’ll need your energy for the
meeting today.” Colton said. “No- eat this Jess,” Deandre butted in while
offering me a plate of fruits. “Hahaha! You guys are the best! ” I said pulling
them both into a tight hug. Someone cleared his throat from the arch way of the
dining room and I saw Phillip looking at me. He looked at me in such a way that
I knew he saw the other guys scrambling to assist me. “Good Morning!” He said.
“What do we have for breakfast?” He asked without looking at me. “We have Toast,
Fruits, Bacon and Eggs.” Colton replied. Phillip sat in front of me and started
eating. After Colton and Deandre finished their breakfast they left to change
for the meeting.
Phillip and I ate our meals in silence. “Uhm, I woke
up in my bed today so you must have carried me back to my room after I dozed off
in the deck… Thank you!” I said, trying to break the tension between us. “No
Problem, We better move or we’ll be late for the meeting” He said dryly. “Is
there something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?” I asked. “No, you
didn’t do anything wrong, I just thought… Forget it, let’s get going.”He softly
said.
~~End of Chapter 2~~
Chapter III
~Phillips POV~
Preparing for the meeting, I stopped and sat down at
the edge of my bed. Thinking about why I felt different after seeing Jessica
with Colton and Deandre.
~Flashback~
Entering the dining room
I suddenly froze. “You look gorgeous today! I like it!” I Heard Colton tell
Jessica. “Doesn’t she always?” Deandre said. “Stop it you two… I just got to
sleep well last night” Jessica said. I saw her seat down in-between Colton and
Deandre. “Eat this Jess, You’ll need your energy for the meeting today.” Colton
said. “No- eat this Jess,” Deandre butted in while offering her a plate of
fruits. “Hahaha! You guys are the best! ” She said then hugged them
both.
~End of Flashback~
I certainly don’t think I should be reacting this
way. We’re all friends and I know how close she is to them. So what is this
feeling I have? Could it be jealousy? But I love Hannah… I thought to myself.
Stop It! I ordered myself. You have other things to think about and you have a
girlfriend! I told myself.
~~
“C’mon guys, we’re gonna be late if we don’t get
going” I heard Jessica say. I saw Colton standing beside her as the others got
in the limo. I gave her a slight smile before I entered and noticed that she
followed me in. I settled for a seat between Elise and HeeJun. I noticed Jessica
looking at me with a confused look on her face. I started to talk to Elise to
avoid looking at Jessica. I don’t know why I’m avoiding her, I guess I just want
time to think things through.
From the corner of my eye I could see her talking to
Colton and I saw them laughing at something Colton whispered in her ear. I felt
something inside me snap. Am I jealous? I asked myself. “You okay?” I heard
Elise ask me. “Yeah, still need sleep I guess…” I told her. Looking up I saw
Jessica and Colton listening to songs on her phone, sharing just one headset.
Jessica suddenly looked at me and smiled. I just nodded and tried to avoid
looking at her by closing my eyes and tilting my head back.
~End of Phillips POV~
~~
~Jessica’s POV~
I have to talk to Phillip, I thought to myself. I
don’t know what happened, what caused the change in his demeanor? When he
entered the limo, I followed hoping that we could sit down together and talk
about what’s bothering him. But he sat down beside Elise. I glanced at him with
a confused look. I didn’t know why he seemed to be avoiding me. This was the
first time he didn’t sit beside me and it feels weird not to have him beside me.
“Hey, mind if I sit with you?” asked Colton. “Sure!” I told him. He sat beside
me and started to fill me in with the latest pranks that Hee Jun did at the
party. I couldn’t help but laugh at the latest antics of Hee Jun. He really is
our resident prankster. “Jimmy sent me a few songs that he thinks could be
included if I record my album. Want to hear it?” I asked Colton handing him over
an earphone. “Sure, I know you could sing anything… You could sing the
Phonebook!” He joked.
While listening to the songs, I couldn’t help but
compare Phillip and Colton. Both were handsome, caring, amazingly talented, but
that was where there similarities end. Phillip was reserved and mysterious, plus
he had a girlfriend who adores him so much. Colton is easy going and funny, he’s
single, he’s a big flirt, and he always makes me comfortable.
“We’re here” Hee Jun announced, breaking me from my
thought. Why am I even comparing the two? I thought to myself. “Let’s continue
listening to these later, but I think everything is perfect for you Jess…” said
Colton.
As I stepped out of the limo, I looked for Phillip
hoping to talk to him but he was already a few feet away from me talking to the
other girls. “Shall we?” asked Colton while offering his arm like a true
gentleman. Smiling at him, I wrapped my arm around his and walked towards the
building.
~~End of Chapter 3~~
Chapter IV
~Phillips POV~
“So, we’d like to welcome you to our Interscope
family! We’re looking forward to working on your first record.” I heard Jimmy
Iovine, Chairman of Interscope Records, say to all of us. “Uh-mazing, I can’t
wait to hit the studio!” said Skylar. I still can’t believe that we just signed
a contract for our record. It felt surreal, I pinched myself to check if I was
dreaming, and the pain made me realize that this was real. Everybody went
around, hugging and congratulating everyone. “Hey.. Congratulations!” I heard
Jessica say. “Thanks, you too!” I told her. I suddenly couldn’t resist and
pulled her into a hug. “We made it!” I told her and released her from my
hug.
After everyone has settled down from the shock, Ann,
our Road Manager, told us that we have a week off and we had to be back by June
2nd to practice for the tour. “Let’s
celebrate!” said Hee Jun. “I agree, let’s have a cook out at the mansion!” said
Elise. “I agree!” chimed Hollie and Shannon at the same time. “Yeah! We have a
lot to thank for y’all!” said Skylar. “Nobody dare leave the mansion today!
We’ll all leave tomorrow!” said Joshua while laughing.
“Do we have everything we need for the cookout at the
mansion?” asked Deandre. “I could go to the store and grab a few things.” I
offered. “Ok then, we’ll meet you back at the mansion…” said Elise. Then
everyone went out of the room and I noticed that Jessica stayed behind. “Would
you like me to accompany you?” she asked. “No, you better join them and go ahead
to the mansion.” I told her with a soft smile. She looked surprised at my reply,
shrugged and quickly followed the others to the limo waiting for
them.
~End of Phillips POV~
~~
~Jessica’s POV~
“I’m excited to do my record! You have to promise me
that we would collaborate on a song…” I heard Colton tell me. “I think we should
do a cover of a song, what do you think?” he said. “Yeah, that would be great…
I’d love to collaborate with you…” I told him. “What do you think about the
song, Terrified by Katharine McPhee and Zachary Levi?” he asked me. “It’s a
great song, I have it on my phone, wanna listen to it?” I asked him. “Sure!”
Colton said. I handed him an earphone and placed the other end on my ear. I
closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder. While we were listening, I
thought about what happened earlier.
~Flashback~
“Hey.. Congratulations!”
I told Phillip. “Thanks, you too!” he said. He suddenly pulled me into a hug.
“We made it!” he told me before letting go.
~
“Would you like me to
accompany you?” I offered. “No, you better join them and go ahead to the
mansion.” He replied.
~End of Flashback~
I couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. He keeps
on sending me mixed signals and I’m starting to think that maybe the spark I
noticed between us was just something my mind made up from being with him all
the time during the weeks leading up to the finale. I needed a man’s opinion to
get a better idea on what Phillip is thinking.
“We’re home… wake up…” Colton said while nudging me.
I must have dozed off while my mind explored every facet of Phillip. “I’m gonna
go freshen up first.” Colton said. “Okay, I guess I’ll help the others prepare.”
I told him. I followed the others to the kitchen and helped with the
preparation.
“Hey Jess! Need some help?” Deandre asked. “Sure, you
can help me plus I wanted to ask you something.” I told him. “What’s up?” He
asked. “Dre, what would make you give mixed signals to a girl? I asked. “Huh?
What do you mean?” He asked confused. “What I mean to say is, if you’re close to
a girl and spend a lot of time together, what might cause you to suddenly change
the way you act around her? Like, one minute you treat her nicely and you show
her how special she is then a few hours or a day later, you suddenly act cold or
different.” I explained. “Hmmm, are we talking about anyone in particular?” He
nudged me playfully. “No, I… uh, someone asked me that question but I didn’t
know what to answer.” I told him. He seemed to have believed me because he
stopped nudging me and answered me. “Jess, a guy would give mixed signals if he
is unable to process his feelings properly. He might be trying to fight his
feelings from developing. Maybe he’s afraid of showing the truth, or maybe he’s
jealous,” He said. “that’s usually how I act when I’m jealous.” He added. “Oh, I
didn’t think of it that way.” I told him. “What should the girl do then?” I
asked. “She should ask the guy to come out clean.” He said. “Thanks Dre.” I told
him. “Anytime Jess!” he said.
A few minutes later, while we were all in the
backyard I noticed the other girls huddled in the table. “What have you got
there?” I asked them. “We’re reading an online article about Phillip.” Shannon
said. “Can I read it too?” I asked, “Sure! C’mon…” She said. I was about to read
the article when Phillip arrived. “Hey, I bought chips, hotdogs and patties.” He
said. “Let’s continue this later and help them prepare the food.”Skylar said.
“Okay…” Shannon answered then closed her Ipad.
“Hey guys, I hope you don’t mind but I brought
someone along.” Phillip said. “No problem!” They all replied. Phillip approached
me and looked at me awkwardly. “Jess, I just wanted to apologize about my
behavior earlier. I just have a lot going on in my mind…” he said. “That’s okay,
I know you still have a lot going on, but I wanted to ask you something…” I
said. “Go ahead.” He said. “Do you..” I started to ask him, stopping to think if
it’s proper for me to ask him if he had feelings for me, after all he already
has a girlfriend. “What is it Jessica?” He asked. “ I just wanted to know.” I
asked but stopped when I saw a slender hand grab his arm.
~End of Chapter 4~
Chapter V
~Jessica’s POV~
“There you are!” I heard Hannah say to Phillip. “Hi
Jessica, I didn’t get a chance to talk to you yesterday. I wanted to thank you
for taking care of Phillip during his stay here…” she told me. “No problem, we
all took turns taking care of him, we look out for each other here.” I told her
with a weak smile. “I’m sorry, was I interrupting something?” Hannah asked.
“Jess was about to…” Phillip said but I cut him off before he could finish his
sentence. “I was just about to tell him how excited I am to be singing on the
Memorial Day event.” I told Hannah. Phillip raised his brow and looked at me.
“Yeah, she was about to tell me just that.” He told her. “Ohh.. Well we’ll
surely watch your performance on TV.” said Hannah. “Thanks, well we better get
in and grab some food before it’s gone…” I told them. “We’re going to follow
you, we just need to get a few more stuff from the car.” said Hannah. “Okay.” I
told her and nodded at Phillip.
I walked to the house slowly. Contemplating about
what a huge mess I could have created if I told Phillip what I felt. How silly
am I? I asked myself. He clearly has a girlfriend who’s pretty, supportive and
kind. I guess I was just carried away by spending a lot of time with him. But
what about those moments when he was so caring and attentive to my needs? He
doesn’t do that to the other girls in the house? I silently mulled over as I
entered the house.
~End of Jessica’s POV~
~
~Colton’s POV~
“Hey! The hotdogs are almost burnt!” I heard Hee Jun
say. I looked down at the hotdogs I was cooking and saw that the edges were
almost charred. “Sorry, I spaced out for a moment…” I told him. “Maybe I should
take over and maybe you could just put the chips in a bowl” Hee Jun suggested.
“Thanks…” I said. “What were you thinking? Or should I say, who were you
thinking about?” he joked. “What are you trying to imply Hee Jun?” I asked
smiling. “C’mon Colt… Everybody here knows you like Jess! You’ve been following
her around like a personal assistant…” He explained. “But she doesn’t seem to
notice.” I told him. “Give her time man, after all, she’s still jailbait.” He
said.
I left him alone to mull over what he said. Yes, I
guess I’ve been trying to deny my feelings for her since the day I first saw her
on stage.
~Flashback~
♪♫♪♫ I
know you’re the best, You’ve passed
every test, It’s
almost too good to be true…
You’re the perfect
man for me, I love you I do, You’re the perfect
man for me, I love you I
do♪♫♫♪
“Amaaazzzzinnng!!!!” I
shouted over the ruckus. This girl knows how to sing, I said to myself. “Whew!
How can she sing that way, she’s just 16!” I heard Joshua shout over the cheers
of the crowd. I’ve got to know her better, I thought to
myself.
~End of Flashback~
~
That was the first time I watched her perform and I
was immediately hooked. I made it a point to approach her after that performance
and we’ve been friends ever since. I didn’t notice I was starting to develop
feelings for her until the day that she almost got booted off.
~Flashback~
“The person at risk of
leaving us tonight, is… Jessica Sanchez!” said Ryan. “What?” I shouted but no
one heard me because everyone was shocked at the result. “Go on! Use the save…”
I heard Phillip say to the judges as Jessica started singing. “Yeah! Use the
save…” I hollered at them.
~
“That was a close one!”
Jessica told me after the show. “You’re not going anywhere… You belong here!” I
told her. I hugged her and comforted her. In a way I was relieved to know that
she won’t be sent home. I was absolutely devastated when her name was announced.
“Come here Jess…” said Phillip. He then enveloped her into a hug and told her
something I couldn’t decipher over the background music. I suddenly felt
jealous. Whoa! Why do I feel this way? I asked myself. Am I starting to develop
feelings for her? I thought to myself. “Colt, let’s go home…” Jessica said and
grabbed my hand. I felt electricity surge from my where her hand touched mine
flowing to the rest of my body and I knew, I had fallen for
her.
~End of Flashback~
“Hey, are you okay?” a female voice said,
interrupting me from my daydream. I looked up to see who it was and saw Jessica
standing in front of me. “I’m okay, I was just reminiscing about the show.” I
said. “Yeah, we had a pretty good time, but I’m sure will still have those
moments when we go on tour.” She said. I nodded and patted the space beside me.
“Can you sit down for a moment?” I want to tell you something.” I told her.
“Sure!” she said then plopped down beside me. I took her hand and looked her in
the eye. “Jess, I need you to listen carefully to what I have to say… Let me
talk first and if you have anything to say then I’ll listen to it after i’m
finished.” I told her. She nodded and smiled at me. “Jess, I know you’ve got a
lot on your mind now and you’re probably going to be busy after the tour.” I
said. “What I mean to say is… you’re young and you’re gonna.. No.. that’s not
what I wanted to say.” I stammered. Jessica laughed and said, “C’mon Colton, why
are you stuttering? Just say what you have to say, I promise I won’t get mad and
it won’t affect our friendship!” I looked her in the eye and knew she was
telling the truth. Here goes nothing… I thought to myself. “Jessica, we’ve been
friends since the start and you know I’ve got only your best interest in my
heart. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I know you’re still young and you’re
probably not yet thinking about love, but I wanted you to know that I have
feelings for you, I’m going to wait till you’re 18 before I court you, I just
wanted to be honest about my feelings.” I said. “Colton, thank you for being
honest about your feelings… You know that you’re already a part of my life
right?” she said then hugged me.
“C’mon, let’s go out and see if there’s any food
left” she said and held my hand, leading me out the door into the backyard where
our other friends were busy chatting and eating together. Out of the corner of
my eye I saw someone hidden behind the ornamental curtain which separated the
couch where I just told Jessica about my feelings, from the hallway.
“Here you go.” Jessica said while giving me a plate
full of chips and burgers. “Thanks!” I told her and sat down next to her. “How
long does it take to get a couple of sodas?” Elise asked. “Would you like me to
get some for you?” I asked her. “Phillip went in a couple of minutes ago to get
some but seems to be taking a long time.” She said.
~End of Chapter 5~
Chapter VI
~Phillip’s POV~
I stood there in shock, listening to Colton confess
his feelings to Jess. I felt anger building up inside me, and I was gripping my
hand so hard that my knuckles were almost devoid of blood. What are you doing
just standing here? You should stop him from completely telling her how he
feels; I could hear my inner demon saying. I started to walk towards the couch
but stopped, my conscience, trying to prevent me from doing something I might
regret. You have a girlfriend; she’s too young to be in a relationship and
you’re not even sure about what you feel? I heard my conscience saying.
I could hear Jessica talking but I couldn’t
understand what she was saying. I heard movement from behind the curtain and
ducked behind the wall to avoid being seen. I saw her holding Colton’s hand and
leading him to the backyard. Did she accept his proposal? I thought to myself.
You’re getting ahead of yourself; I sat down on a stool and tried to calm
myself. You’re overreacting, you’re not even sure about what she told him, I
told myself.
“Love, are you okay?” I heard Hannah ask me, I didn’t
notice her standing by the door. “Huh?” I said. “We were wondering what’s taking
you so long.” She said. “You look upset, are you feeling ill?” she asked looking
concerned. “I just need time to think, is it okay if I ask you to leave me for a
while? I asked, knowing that I’m hurting her by not telling her what I’m
feeling, but I have to think about a lot of things. Things I haven’t been paying
attention. Things like little details that I’ve been avoiding that seem to be
haunting me now. “You know you can talk to me about anything, I’m here for you
Phillip.” Hannah said. “Talk to me.” I heard her saying. “Han, I just need time
alone, please?” I told her. “Why are you being this way Phillip, you used to be
able to tell me everything that’s on your mind.” “Hannah, please… I can’t tell
you about it right now.” I pleaded with her, my voice rising up a notch. “No,
I’m not going to move unless you tell me what it is, we’re in this together.”
She said stubbornly, determined to know what I was thinking. “I can’t… I just
can’t.” I told her softly. “You’ve never kept something from me.” She said
dejectedly. “Fine, if you want me to leave you, then I’m leaving… I’m going to
give you the space you need.” She said with tears brimming in her eyes, and then
hurriedly left the room. What are you doing? I asked myself. You’re ruining your
relationship with her. Go apologize to her, I told myself. I ran after her,
determined to not let our 3 year relationship end like this. As I opened the
front door, I heard her car tires screech against the concrete driveway.
“Hannah!” I shouted, hoping that she would turn her car around and allow me to
apologize. Shaken at the rapid pace of events that just transpired, I felt my
legs give way and I fell down on my knees, tears starting to stream down my
face.
~End of Phillip’s POV~
~
~Jessica’s POV~
“How many people does it take to get a couple of
sodas?” Elise asked. “Wasn’t Phillip supposed to get some?” Shannon said. “Yeah,
and Hannah followed him a couple of minutes ago to check why he hasn’t returned
but it’s been 5 minutes since she left and I still don’t see any sodas!” Elise
complained. “Maybe they’re busy…” joked Hee Jun. Feeling thirsty, I stood up and
said, “I’ll go get some, I’m parched.” I told the others. “Want me to get it for
you?” I heard Colton ask me. “No, finish your food. Would you like me to get a
soda for you too?” I asked him. He nodded and continued eating.
As soon as I stepped inside, I saw Phillip by the
main door shouting Hannah’s name. Thinking that something might have happened I
ran towards the door. Yanking it open, I saw Phillip kneeled over and crying. He
was looking at the horizon as if searching for a glimpse of something far away.
“What happened? Where’s Hannah, Are you Okay?” I couldn’t stop my mouth from
asking every vital question I needed an answer to. I needed to know what was
happening. I grabbed his arm to help him up and grabbed a handkerchief from my
pocket and gave it to him. Out of the blue he looked at me and hugged me
tightly. “Thank you …” I heard him whisper in my ear. Confused at what he meant
I broke out of the hug and looked at him. “What happened, PP?” I asked him.
“Hannah and I just broke up.” He said. “Why did you guys break up? You were just
acting like a lovesick couple earlier.” I told him. “Hannah believes that trust
is fundamental in any relationship, so when I told her that I couldn’t tell her
what I was thinking about, she thought that I was hiding something or I that I
just didn’t trust her anymore. I’m not even sure that we’re really done. She
just told me she’s going to give me the space I need.” He explained. “Ohh… Why
don’t you just tell her what’s on your mind? So that she won’t think that you’re
keeping something from her?” I asked. “Because telling her the truth is worse
than keeping it a secret.” He said, and then went back in. leaving me dazed.
What might he be keeping from Hannah? I asked myself.
~Flashback~
Upon entering my room, he
gently laid me on the bed. I felt him sit down on my bed and hold my hand.”Jess,
I have so much to tell you… but I need a little bit more time… I can’t…” He
said.
~End of Flashback
Am I the reason why they broke up? I wondered to
myself.
~End of Jessica’s POV~
~
~Phillip’s POV~
I walked into the house and headed towards my room. I
was no longer in the mood to join the celebration and needed time to think about
a lot of things. I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes.
~Flashback~
I heard the door open and
felt someone stand beside me. “What happened? Where’s Hannah, Are you Okay?” I
heard the person who turned out to be Jessica ask me. She grabbed my hand and
helped me to stand up. I don’t know why but I was happy that the person who saw
me was Jessica. I looked at her and saw her eyes full of concern that I couldn’t
help myself from pulling her into a hug. “Thank you.” I whispered in her ear.
~End of Flashback~
I opened my eyes and started thinking about other
moments when Jessica was there for me. I remember singing we’ve got tonight and
wondered why I was only thinking about Jessica throughout the whole song. I
guess I was trying to deny that I was falling for her. I jumped out of bed,
scrambling to get to the door. I needed to talk to Jessica. I needed to know if
she felt the same way.
I ran out the door and saw her still standing there.
She looked at me with confusion masking her face.
~End of Chapter 6~
Chapter VII
~Phillip’s POV~
I stood there, wondering if it would be okay for me
to tell her how I feel. What if she doesn’t feel that way? What if she already
agreed to go out with Colton, I asked myself. You won’t know if you won’t ask
her, I told myself. I drew her into a hug and heaved a sigh of unrepressed
relief. “I don’t fully understand what this is, but help me understand it.” I
whispered in her ear.
I was about to kiss her when I heard a car door slam.
My head snapped towards the direction of the sound and i automatically let go of
Jessica. “Great, I was about to look for you Phillip.” I heard our road manager
Ann saying, with a curious look on her face. Jessica looked at me then shifted
her attention to Ann. “I’ll leave you guys then, it was nice to see you Ann.”
She said and then left.
After a few minutes, Ann led me to the home office
and closed the door behind her. “What’s wrong Ann?” I asked her. “I just wanted
to talk to you about a couple of things.” She said. I nodded and signaled for
her to begin. “First things first, we’ve already set your recording schedule.”
She said then handed a piece of paper. “You’ll see the schedule there.” She
said. “Okay, I’ll send a copy to my Doctor so he can schedule my surgery before
the tour.” I told her. “Okay, let’s move on to the next matter, it’s not really
a big deal but the upper management just wanted me to talk to you about it.” She
said. “Well, lately there have been a lot of gossip about you and Jessica;
people seem to see the chemistry you have together. Now, we know there’s nothing
going on between you, but the higher ups seem to think that we should try and
avoid adding fuel to these gossips.” She said. “Why? As you said, there’s
nothing between us…” I asked. I was bewildered at the idea that a lot of people
have noticed what I thought I only noticed. “You don’t know how savage people
are in this industry. They don’t care if it’s true; all they need is a couple of
people who would believe them. They might use that gossip to tarnish your image.
They’re going to portray you as a Casanova and Jessica as the other woman.” She
explained. “What should I do? I don’t want to ruin everything Jessica and I have
worked so hard for.” I asked her. “You have to show them that you have a perfect
relationship with Hannah. Bring her in all of your interviews and make sure that
if there’s an official AI business, that you would avoid being with Jessica
throughout the event.” She said. “Hannah and I broke up today… I don’t know if I
can and if I want to avoid Jessica.” I told her. “Have you told anyone that you
and Hannah broke up?” she asked. I shook my head and said, “Only Jessica knows
about it.” I told her. “You have to tell her that it was just a misunderstanding
and that you and Hannah got back together; Mend your relationship with Hannah.”
She ordered. “I don’t know if I still feel the same for Hannah. I think I like
Jess.” I told her. “Phillip, she’s 16 and even if you get into a relationship,
it won’t be legal. Wait for a few years, and if you still feel the same, then go
for it, people won’t mind then… Right now, giving it a shot with her could be
suicidal to both your careers.” She said, leaving me confused with what I should
do.
~End of Phillip’s POV~
~
~Jessica’s POV~
I was still mulling over the course of events when I
heard the door open. I glanced over and saw Phillip standing there, looking at
me. I noticed him hesitating then he approached me and hugged me. “I don’t fully
understand what this is, but I’d like you to help me understand it.” He
whispered in my ear. I could feel a warm yet comforting sensation from his hug;
it was something I’ve never felt before. All doubts I ever had before about what
he was feeling quickly dissipated. I looked up and met his eyes. Is this real? I
asked myself. I saw him about to lean in for a kiss when we heard a car door
slam. He his eyes shifted to the origin of the noise and I felt him release me.
I followed his gaze and saw our Road Manager Ann looking at us. “Great, I was
about to look for you Phillip.” She said. I nodded and said, “I’ll leave you
guys then, it was nice to see you Ann.”
I entered the house and went to the kitchen to grab a
couple of sodas. Blushing at the thought of what might have happened if Ann
didn’t arrive; I went to the sink and splashed cold water over my face. Once I
was sure that my cheeks was no longer flamed I went out to the backyard and
joined the others. I gave Elise, who gave me a gratuitous look, a soda and set
the others on the table. “Let’s go to the entertainment room and maybe Josh
could spin some hits on the DJ booth.” Hee Jun suggested. We tidied up and all
moved to the entertainment room. We all hit the dance floor as Joshua spun hit
after hit. I kept glancing at the door, wondering why Phillip hadn’t come back
yet. After our dance showdown, some of the girls opened the sing-along machine
and Shannon took the microphone to start the ball rolling, then Hollie and
Deandre followed with their favorite songs of the season. I noticed Phillip
entering and I beckoned for him to sit beside me. He looked at me with a stony
expression and went over to where the boys were huddled.
“Let’s start a game, boys versus girls…” Hee Jun
proposed. “Each person shall think of a song that you sang during the show and
write it on this paper, then once you’re called pick a name from this basket and
the person you pick will sing the song you wrote. Whoever gets the mannerism and
quality impeccably gets a point for the team.” He said then handed a sheet of
paper. “What’s the prize?” If you girls win, we’ll do whatever you tell us, and
if you lose, you’ll give each of us a kiss on the cheek.” He said with a big
grin on his face. “Let’s do this; we’ll make them dress in drag for the first
day of the tour if they lose.” Skylar said laughing.
I picked a song that I felt suited the situation I
was in. “Let’s begin!” Jeremy said then picked a name from the basket. “And the
first person who will pick is… Joshua! Come here and pick a name from this
basket.” He said. Joshua picked a name and gave it to Jeremy. “The person, who
will sing Joshua’s pick of Imagine by John Lennon, is… Elise!” said Jeremy.
Elise did a great Job of mimicking Joshua’s move that the boys didn’t even
contest when a point was given to us. Joshua then sang Elise’s pick of Whole
Lotta love and got an impeccable impression of Elise. Hollie flawlessly sang
Deandre’s pick of I like it and Deandre sang Jesus take the wheel but couldn’t
quite copy Hollie’s mannerisms. Erica Sang Hee Jun’s choice of A song for you
but couldn’t copy his gesticulations. Hee Jun sang New York State of mind and
delivered it perfectly. Shannon sang Ribbon in the sky and Jeremy sang one sweet
Day. Skylar sang Piano man while Colton sang Gunpowder and lead, which left me
and Phillip to battle for the crucial point since both teams were tied at four
points each. I sang Phillip’s choice of We’ve got tonight and had to stop myself
from crying. Everybody applauded my version and said that I got the emotion that
he showed the night he performed it, the boys grudgingly awarded us with a point
and stated that it’s going to be a tie because Phillip will surely do a good job
of imitating me. He hesitated to go to the stage but was coaxed by the guys into
performing. He went up the stage and got the microphone. I heard the starting
notes of the song play and listened intently, hoping that he would know that I
was thinking of him when I picked that song.
♪♫♫♪♪♫ Everyday I’m waking
up to déjà vu, Someone it’s always
telling me Not to stick with you
Could it be the nights we spent to
fixing us, I never thought that we
were really that messed up
Should have shut my mouth and kept it all to myself
Cause now they’ve got me feeling
, I should be with somebody else
They say we don’t fit together,
I could do better, There’s
always something
They don’t know
the hell we’ve been through
Cause when you hold me like you do,
That’s when I wanna change nothing
There were times when we would kiss with bitter lips, It don’t matter when the good ones taste
like this
Maybe we were
broken more than once or twice, What
we got bad or not I’m not gonna compromise.
I should have never let that words get under my
skin, Cause all I ever wanted was to
find a way through this. ♪♫♪♫♪
“I’m sorry, I
can’t do this… This is silly…” I heard Phillip saying. He gave the microphone to
Jeremy then left the room leaving all of us baffled. “What’s that all about?” I
heard Colton ask. “Beats me, I guess the girls won…”said
Deandre.
The girls started
hollering and jumping in joy, but I was still perplexed at what
happened.
~End of Jessica’s POV~
~End of Chapter 7~
Chapter VIII
~Phillip’s POV~
I jostled the microphone to Jeremy and ran out of the
room as fast as I could. I wanted to get away from that room… from her stares…
from the melody of her song… from everything in there that reminded me of how
much I needed her… It reminded me of how much I had to sacrifice just to see her
dreams come true. I could feel tears brimming over my eyes and knew that the
pain I felt in my heart wouldn’t be easy to let go. I still had something
crucial to do; I didn’t know how to explain everything to her in a way that
wouldn’t hurt her. I knew that what I was going to do would hurt me more than it
would hurt her.
~Flashback~
“You can’t tell her about
what we talked about Phillip! She has to think that you’re not really into her
so she would stop fawning over you!” said Ann, our road manager. “You want me to
break her heart?” I asked incredulously shaking my head. I can’t do that to her,
I thought to myself. “I’m not saying you have to break her heart, just don’t
tell her about what we talked about. She might not understand it, she’s still
young… it’s up to you to protect her by convincing her that friendship is all
you can offer.” She said. “If and when the time comes, maybe in two years or
more, that you would like to follow what you feel for her, then I would
personally explain everything to her.” she offered. “For now, you both have to
focus on making it big in the industry…” she said.
~End of Flashback~
I ran all the way to the deck. It was the only place
in the house that was special to Jessica and me. During the final week, we used
to hang out here and just watch the sunrise or the sunset. I realized that in a
way, this was where I started to develop feelings for her.
“Hey, are you okay?” I heard someone say. I froze,
completely aware of who was asking me that question. Why did she follow me? I
thought to myself. I guess it’s now or never… I told myself. I turned around to
face her and looked at her intently. “What are you doing here? Why did you
follow me? I asked her coldly. “I didn’t know why you ran away so I followed
you.” She said, confusion masking her voice. She moved towards me and I took a
step backward. “What’s wrong Phillip? You were just telling me about how you
couldn’t understand what you were feeling before Ann arrived.” She said. “I
thought that…” she whimpered. “You thought what? That I wouldn’t go back to
Hannah and stay with you?” I said scathingly, hoping it would make her stop
asking too many questions. “Jessica, you’re my friend, and that’s all we can
be.” I told her, my voice cracking slightly. I felt like a monster after what I
just said. I looked at her and saw tears streaming down her face. I felt a
twinge of guilt upon seeing her face but knew that I needed to keep my face from
showing any softness towards her. “Why did you say those things then? What was
the point behind what happened earlier?” she said. I shifted my gaze, acutely
aware that I couldn’t answer her and knowing that I have given her too much
grief. All I wanted to do was to run over to her and hug her. Tell her I was
sorry and that I was just advised to say those things to protect her and help
her turn her dream into reality. I wanted to tell her I was willing to let go of
my Idol dream, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it not just because of what it
would do to us, but because I also had to think about my parents and all the
sacrifices they did just to help me fulfill my dream. “Why aren’t you saying
anything?” she said. “So, you’re basically saying that you don’t feel anything
for me? That, you just see me as a friend and nothing else… Is that it?” she
said, her voice rising up a notch. I hesitated for a moment. You could still
tell her the truth and just deal with the consequences later. I thought to
myself. “Yes…” I whispered. “I didn’t hear you.” She said. “Yes… I only see you
as a friend and nothing else.” I told her and then turned my back at her so she
wouldn’t see the tears that were streaming down my face. “I don’t believe you… I
know you’re lying and I’m not gonna stop until I know the truth.” She said and
then ran away.
I’m sorry Jess; it’s the way it’s supposed to be for
now. I thought to myself. I didn’t know how I would be able to look at myself in
the mirror after what I’ve done. She didn’t deserve that! I told myself. I
placed my hand in my pocket and got my phone. Wiping my tears with one hand, I
dialed using the other and placed the phone parallel to my ear, waiting for the
other person to pick up.
~End of Phillip’s POV~
~
~Jessica’s POV~
“Yes… I only see you as a friend and nothing else.”
His words kept echoing in my mind. I felt numb when I heard him say that. What’s
happening? I thought that he felt the same? I told myself. I was at a complete
loss over what happened. How could he say one thing then change his mind all of
a sudden? I asked myself. How can he explain those tender moments we shared?
What about that part where we almost kissed had we not been interrupted by Ann.
was that all just a lie? Could he really mean everything he just said? Questions
filled my head. It felt so surreal, I felt like this was just a nightmare I was
about to wake up from. Maybe this is just a nightmare and when i wake up,
everything’s gonna be back to normal. I told myself. I was shaking from crying
too much that I sat down on the steps of the stairs to try and calm myself but I
couldn’t stop my tears from falling.
“Jess, what’s wrong?” I heard Colton asking as he ran
towards me and stood before me. He wrapped his arm around me and made soothing
sounds to help me calm down. He carried me to the couch and cradled me in his
arms. After a few minutes, I calmed down and laid there with my head buried in
his neck. “You always find me whenever I’m down… Thank you Colton!” I told him
and gave him a kiss on his forehead. “I guess I better go back to my room and
pack.” I told him. “Are you sure you’re completely fine now?” he asked. I nodded
and stood up. “I’ll come get you once dinner is ready, I have to make sure
you’ll eat something okay?” he said with a smile. I nodded and left.
I went up to my room because I wanted to start
packing my things. But as soon as I entered my room, I saw my bed and remembered
that night when Phillip carried me to my bed and told me that he needed to tell
me something. I felt tears gush down my cheeks and I angrily wiped them away.
Stop thinking about him! You’re just hurting yourself by clinging on to all the
memories you have. I told myself. I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling
and then started berating myself. If he doesn’t want you in return then you have
to stop placing your attention on him and maybe you’ll find someone who will
never hurt you and be there for you no matter what happens. I thought to myself.
You already found someone like that, remember him? He’s always there for you
whenever you need him, he always places your concerns and needs before his, he
makes it a point to make sure you have a smile on your face… my mind recapped
all of his qualities to me. Colton deserves to be with you, he would never hurt
you like what Phillip constantly does. I thought to myself. I have to make sure
that Phillip is really telling the truth before I completely erase all my
feelings for him. It would be unfair to Colton if I start reciprocating his
feelings without completely resolving my feelings for Phillip. I thought to
myself.
~End of Jessica’s POV~
~End of Chapter VIII~
Chapter IX
~Colton’s POV~
I sat there watching Jessica walk away; wondering
what might have caused her to cry. It must have been something that happened
after the game. What could it be? I thought as images of seeing her crying
hysterically flashed before my eyes. I was fuming at the idea that somebody
might have done something to make her cry. She was so fragile and innocent in my
eyes that I couldn’t fathom why anyone would want to hurt her. Deandre walked
over and sat down beside me. “Who’s the enemy?” he asked me. “What do you mean?”
I asked back. “You look like you’re about to chop someone into pieces… If looks
could kill, I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of your stares…” he
explained. “Did something happen?” he added. “I’m not sure, but I’m going to
find out.” I told him. “After Phillip stormed out, did you notice anyone else
leaving the room?” I asked him. He shrugged and furrowed his brows deep in
thought. “I think I saw Jessica leaving the room after he left… Nobody else
followed them from what I recall.” He said. If Jessica was the only person who
left, then the only person who she might have talked to would be Phillip. I
thought to myself. Why would she cry because of him? I asked myself. I was still
mulling over things when I came to a realization. I clearly remember the night
of the finale, Jessica cried when she saw Phillip kissing Hannah… She also
followed him inside the limo the day we went to Interscope records and seemed
disturbed when Phillip didn’t sit next to her… She also offered to get the soda
during lunch when she heard Elise say that Phillip was taking too long in the
kitchen… I shook my head sheepishly. No, that’s impossible… I know she has a
crush on him, as all the other girls here do… but is there something deeper
going on between them? I pondered silently.
“Have you seen Phillip?” I asked Deandre. “I think I
saw him on the deck, but I’m not sure if he’s still there.” He said. “Thanks…” I
told him and then stood up. I was determined to find out what happened and knew
that I could get the answers I needed from Phillip.
I ran all the way to the deck, searching for the man
who might have hurt my girl. I saw him sitting on one of the lounge chairs
looking grief stricken. Something inside me snapped… my mind was scrambling to
put the pieces together after seeing that he was just as melancholic as Jessica
was earlier. What happened here? I silently mused.
“Phillip, can I talk to you.” I asked him. He jumped
up in surprise and stood up clumsily. “What do you want, Colton?” he asked me.
“I just want to know what happened here earlier.” I told him and his eyes
slightly widened. “What do you mean? Nothing happened here.” He said. “Don’t
fool me Phillip, I saw Jessica crying on the stairs leading up here and you also
have that grief stricken look like her.” I told him. “It’s not really your
business Colton.” He said coldly. I felt all of my anger and pent up frustration
building up and it took me a lot of self control not to run over to him and beat
the crap out of him. “It becomes my business when I see Jessica getting hurt.” I
told him dryly. “I just told her that I could not offer her anything more than
friendship.” He said. “Why is she bawling her eyes out if that’s the only thing
you told her?” I asked him my voice quivering with anger. “And why would she
even need to be reminded that you could only offer her friendship, she knows
that you have a girlfriend.” I added. “I misled her into thinking I could offer
her something more than friendship and I guess she thought that we could really
be together.” He said and I noticed his voice slightly cracking. “I did this for
her Colton, I can’t explain it right now, but I hope you’ll believe me…” he
added ruefully. Revolted at all the things he just said, I turned my back and
started walking away but stopped and told him. “I’ll never let you hurt her
again, I’m done thinking about it… I’m going to get her from you.” And then i
walked away.
~End of Colton’s POV~
~
~Phillip’s POV~
“I did this for her Colton, I can’t explain it right
now, but I hope you’ll believe me…” I told him ruefully. He turned his back and
started walking away but stopped and told me. “I’ll never let you hurt her
again; I’m done thinking about it… I’m going to get her from you.” And then he
walked away.
How did things get so complicated? I asked myself. I
felt distressed at what he said about Jessica crying on the staircase. Why are
you even surprised? You did that to her. I felt my conscience reprimanding me. I
was numb at the idea of how sad Jessica might be. I sank into the chair and
buried my head in my hands. Will I ever see Jessica smile at me? Will she ever
look at me the same way? I asked myself. Probably Not… After what you did?
You’ll be lucky if she even looks at you. I told myself.
“I’ll never let you hurt her again; I’m done thinking
about it… I’m going to get her from you.” I heard Colton’s words replaying over
and over in my head. I wanted to tell him that I would never let anyone take
Jessica away from me. I wanted to tell him the truth that I have feelings for
Jessica and it was hard for me to see her with anyone else. But I knew that I
had to do something to protect her. And if protecting her means that I would
risk seeing her with someone else, then it was a risk I was willing to take just
to see her dreams fulfilled. In two years, I’ll get you back, Jessica… Don’t let
your feelings go… I thought to myself.
“Hey, I’m here…” I heard someone say. Looking up I
saw Hannah approaching me. “What did you want to talk about?” she asked me and
sat down in front of me. “Han, I’m sorry about what happened earlier.” I told
her and looked at her. She was smiling at me and she took my hand and held it.
“You don’t have to say sorry… I should be the one saying it… I shouldn’t have
stormed off earlier because I knew deep down that this was a reality I had to
accept” she said. I looked at her, completely puzzled. “I guess I was trying to
deny the fact that halfway into the show, we were already slowly drifting apart.
You were my best friend first before you became my boyfriend, so I know how your
mind works.” She told me and gave off a soft laugh. “I know you like Jessica…
I’ve noticed how you stare and look at her and if I remember correctly, that was
how you stared and looked at me before you asked me out.” She said. “I’m sorry
Hannah… You’re still my best friend.” I told her. “Don’t be sorry, we had fun
for three years… Maybe it’s time to explore a world outside ours.” She said.
“Where’s Jessica?” she asked me. “I don’t know Han, I told her I couldn’t be
with her and she shouldn’t expect me to fall for her.” I told her. “Now why in
hell would you even think of doing that, Phillip?” she asked me with her mouth
gaped open. I then told her of what Ann told me and what I had to do to protect
Jessica. Unlike Colton, I could tell Hannah about it because I knew she would
understand my reason for doing what I did and I trusted her enough to know that
she wouldn’t tell a soul about what I just told her. “Okay, I’ll help you in any
way I could.” Hannah said and then pulled me in for a hug.
~End of Phillip’s POV~
~
~Jessica’s POV~
“Jess, Dinner’s ready…” I heard Colton saying as he
knocked on my door. “I’ll be out in a minute.” I told him and ran to my vanity
to make sure that my face bore no trace of what happened earlier. I combed my
hair and made sure that my eyes were no longer puffy before heading out the
door. Colton held my hand and led me to the dining room where almost everyone
was gathered. “We should all eat together since it’s our last day in the house.”
Hee Jun explained after seeing my surprise at seeing all of them there. I nodded
and sat down next to Colton. “Where are Erica, Elise and Phillip?” I heard
Jeremy ask Hee Jun. “They just got a few more stuff from the kitchen, oh… Here
they are now…” said Hee Jun. I looked up and saw them entering the room, the
smell of the dishes they held wafting all over the room. “That smells
delicious.” I told them. “Yeah, it smells great and I bet it tastes great…” said
Hollie. “Of course it does! Hannah cooked it for us.” Elise said.
~End of Jessica’s POV~
~ End of Chapter IX~
Chapter X
~Jessica’s POV~
I was taken aback at what Elise said. Why would
Hannah cook for us? I thought that they broke up? I mulled silently. I glanced
up and saw Hannah and Phillip walking together hand in hand. I met Phillip’s
gaze and saw him stare at me intently before ushering Hannah to her seat. Dinner
went by smoothly, partly because I had Colton with me. He catered to me like a
doting boyfriend and I noticed Phillip throwing sharp glances at us. Why does he
even care if Colton treats me affectionately? I thought that he only sees me as
a friend and nothing else? I asked myself. I saw him looking at me and I met his
gaze for a second then I saw him offer me a smile but I couldn’t let go of the
pain he caused me so I shifted my gaze to Colton and from the corner of my eye,
I saw his smile falter.
Hollie and Joshua suggested having a bonfire after
dinner. So, once everybody was stuffed, they went out to prepare everything we
needed for the bonfire leaving Colton, Phillip, Hannah and I on kitchen duty.
Colton and I decided to be in charge of loading the dishes into the dishwasher
while Hannah and Phillip took care of the leftovers and the table. We all did
our chores in relative silence and after a few minutes of overwhelming tension,
I could no longer bear to be in the same room, so once we were done with our
tasks; I grabbed Colton’s hand and led him to the deck. “What are we doing here
Jess?” he asked. “The bonfire is in the backyard.” He added. “I know… I just
needed to talk to you and hopefully get this huge weight off my chest.” I told
him. He nodded and led me to one of the lounge chairs where he sat down and
pulled me to his lap. “I can sit on the chair…” I told him. But he refused to
let me go and kept his arms around me. “What do you want to talk about?” he
asked. “I know you’ve been wondering why I was crying earlier today.” I told
him. “Oh… that… What about it?” Well, I wanted to tell you what happened but you
have to promise me that you won’t do anything to the other person involved.” I
told him. He nodded and waited for me to continue. “I confronted Phillip about
his feelings for me… I thought that he and Hannah broke up and that he wanted to
be with me.” I said, trying hard not to let my emotions conquer me. “But I was
wrong, he could never offer me anything other than friendship.” I told him. “I
know I should stop thinking about him, but something feels off…” I added. “I
want to learn how to like you in the same way, but I don’t want to rush my
feelings without finding out if he really meant all of the things he said! It
wouldn’t be fair to you if I would give you a chance, knowing that I’m still not
convinced about everything that Phillip told me. ” I told him. He gazed at me
lovingly and said, “I don’t want you to rush your feelings too… I know you still
want to accomplish a lot of things.” Find out if Phillip really meant what he
said… No matter what he would say… I’m here to support you.” He added. I just
stared at him, wondering what I might have done in my past life to be blessed
with a guy like him. I hugged him and said, “Thank you Colt! You’re a great
friend.” “So I’ve been told…” he said laughingly. “Has the weight been lifted
off your shoulder?” he asked and gave me a peck on the forehead. “Yeah…” I
replied. “Let’s go join the others then.” He said and then stood up.
I took Colton’s hand and led him to where they set
up the bonfire. We sat on the grass and he wrapped his arms around me seeing as
it was an unpleasantly cold night. I noticed Phillip and Hannah walking
affectionately to where we were seated. They sat down a few feet away from us
and started talking to the others. Joshua brought out a guitar and handed it
over to Colton. “Sing a song, Sing a song, Sing a song…” they all chanted.
Colton looked at me and winked. He then started strumming the first notes of the
song Love the way you lie and I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of the song
he chose. I glanced at Phillip and saw him looking at me while he was singing
along with Colton. Then I remembered something that happened while we were
rehearsing for the finale.
~Flashback~
“Jess, are you ready? We
need to be in the studio in an hour. I’ll wait for you in the car.” I heard him
say. “I’m ready… I’m just going to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.” I
told him. I ran to the kitchen and got 2 bottles of water. I went out and saw
him already seated in the car looking at me. I had to look away or he might have
seen me blush from his stare. “I got a bottle of water for you.” I said and then
handed it to him. “Thank you.” He said. I was having difficulty managing the
seatbelt so he said, “Let me help you with that.” He leaned towards me and
started fixing my seatbelt. My heart started pounding wildly that I had to take
deep breaths to calm myself. “Why are you so wired up? He asked then winked at
me. “Nothing…” I replied and started fidgeting my phone to distract myself.
“Done…” he said then laughed. “Thank you…” I told him then I reached out and
turned on the radio. “Nuh-uh… I’ll sing…” He said then turned the radio off.
“Oh, okay… sing your heart out.” I joked. He then started singing Love the way
you lie.
~End of Flashback~
I glanced up and I saw him still staring at me, as if
he saw what I remembered.
~End of Jessica’s POV~
~
~Phillip’s POV~
I saw Jessica grab Colton’s hand and lead him out of
the kitchen. Sighing, I turned my back on the door and faced Hannah. “Are you
sure you want to push her away?” Hannah asked me. We were standing in the
kitchen stuffing the leftovers in the fridge. “I don’t want to push her away, I
just want her to focus on her music first.” I said. “It’s your choice Phil… But
you might lose her in the process.” She said. “I know that Hannah… But what if I
tell her the truth and people start judging and hating on us?” I asked her.
“It’s a risk that you have to take. But it won’t always be that way… People are
going to learn to accept you as a couple.” She said. “It’s just too much of a
risk Hannah… She’s worked her entire life to get to this point… I won’t let it
slip through her hands.” I explained. She just shrugged then continued with what
she was doing.
“Let’s get this over with…” I told Hannah after we’ve
done our chores. “I didn’t know you knew how to act.” Hannah said laughingly as
I led her outside while slinging my arm over her shoulder. “Just bear with me.”
I said with a simple smile. I saw Joshua bestow Colton with a guitar. Colton
looked at Jessica and winked at her. I saw her smile back at him and I felt my
heart drop. That should be me she’s smiling at… not him. I thought to
myself.
Colton started singing Love the way you lie and I
joined along. I felt a twinge of guilt when I saw Jessica staring back at me. I
suddenly remembered singing this song to her when we were on our way to the
studio for the rehearsal. All of a sudden I stood up and walked towards her; I
could no longer stop what I was feeling and knew that I had to tell her the
truth. I knew that I could handle the public backlash our pairing might bring as
long as I had her by my side.
~End of Phillip’s POV~
Still waiting for the next chapter to be published.
DISCLAIMER:
This is a fan fiction using characters from American
Idol, which is trademarked by Fox Broadcasting Company.
All characters are contestants in American Idol, and I do not claim
any ownership over them or the American Idol Franchise. This fan fiction is just
for entertainment purposes only and not for monetary purposes.
Chapter I
At the After Party
~Jessica’s POV~
“Hey Skinny Me, Can I dance with you?” I hear Colton
asking me for the second time tonight. “Sure!” I said to him. I walk over to
Colton, my trusted confidant and best friend among my AI family, and put my arms
on his shoulder as Phillip’s version of We’ve got tonight played on the
background.
“Hmmm…” Sighing, I look at the people around for a
glimpse of the person that has been on my mind since we left Nokia Theatre. “Is
something wrong? You seem preoccupied.” Colton asked with pure concern reflected
in his eyes. “Yeah, I’m okay, just tired… I guess” I said, trying to place a
smile on my face.
“You know that you’re the best performer for me,
right?” said Colton. I don’t answer back and just smile at him. I have always
known that Colton has my back no matter what happens. Even if I didn’t win, I’m
still glad to have been given a chance to know my AI family.
As the song ends, it shifts to a livelier tune. I
excuse myself and tell Colton that I wanna rest my tired feet with an apologetic
smile on my face. He nods and shuffles away to where the other finalists are
dancing. I walk over to the couch and sit down, resting my head on the backrest
and closing my eyes. I begin to think about the things that happened earlier.
~Flashback~
Phillip walks over to
his family after singing his winning song, and wraps his arm around them. I feel
happy for him because I know he deserves this. I clap and cheer for him as all
his loved ones cry tears of joy. I silently wipe a stray tear that has fallen
down my cheek.
“Ooohhh, That’s so sweet”
I hear Shannon say. I turn my head to see what she’s squealing about when I saw
Phillip and Hannah locked in a passionate embrace. I try to smile and show
enthusiasm but I’m unable to. I feel something different, I don’t know what it
is.. Then, all of a sudden, Phillip kissed Hannah to the delight of the crowd.
My heart stops and I felt a tear burning a hot trail against my flushed cheeks.
I fought hard to stop any additional tears from falling down when all of a
sudden I feel someone pull me in a tight embrace.
“Col…” I begin to say,
but he immediately places a finger to my lips and gives me a smile. He then
leads me to the backstage so I can prepare for the interviews after the finale.
~End of Flashback~
I opened my eyes and saw someone approaching me.
“Hey, you…” said Phillip. “What are you doing here all alone? Why aren’t you
dancing with the others?” He asked. “Just resting my aching feet, I’ve been
running in stilettos the whole day.” I said. “I was looking for you at the
theatre but.. uhm.. i.. well… i.. uhm.. saw you and uhm.. Colton heading
backstage.” He said. “Ohh, yeah… Colton brought me backstage so I can get ready
for the interviews.” I said. “Why were you looking for me?” I asked, “Well, I
wanted to see how you were after the announcement and I just wanted to say thank
you for being such an amazing person. You’re one of the sweetest girls I know…
And I know you’re gonna make it big in this industry.” He said. “Awww.. schucks,
that’s so sweet of you.. I’m not sweet, I’m fierce!” I joked. “Hahaha!!!” He
laughed. “No Jess, I mean it! You’re a sweet girl and any guy would be lucky to
have you in their life.” He said. “Thanks” I said.
~A Few hours later, back at the AI
Mansion~
“It’s been a tiring day, and I know you need to
sleep. So, Good night and sweet dreams Jess…” Colton said with a kiss on my
forehead. “Hey! You’ve been stealing kisses the whole night!” I said laughing.
Colton grinned and went out of my room.
I tried to sleep but the adrenaline rush from the
finale was still coursing through my veins. I stood up and sneaked to the open
deck of the house. Careful not to bump into anyone or be spotted by Colton I
managed to get to the deck without being seen. I sit down on one of the lounge
chairs and silently look up at the stars.
Thoughts of Phillip entered my mind. I remember
hanging out with him at the recording studio, going to rehearsals for the
finale, going to interviews and lounging here in the deck. In a way I missed
spending time with him. And I wondered if things are going to change now. We’re
no longer inside the AI bubble and it means that we could go back to our former
lives. I felt tears running down my cheeks, but I let them fall freely. I was
sobbing quietly, oblivious to the things happening around me, that I didn’t
notice someone was walking towards the deck.
~~ End of Chapter 1~~
Chapter II
“Jess is that you?” I hear a man asking. Quickly
wiping my tears away, I looked to see who was there with me. My heart sank when
I saw Phillip walking towards me. Concern and confusion clearly etched in his
face. “What are you doing here? Why are you crying? Are you hurt?” He asked as
he rushed to my side, trying to figure out what caused me to cry. “I’m okay, I
guess the stress from the week just caught up with me” I lied. He didn’t seem
convinced and looked me in the eye, as if my eyes would show him what’s wrong. I
forced a smile, hoping that it would make him drop the subject. I didn’t want
him to coax me any further. I might accidentally slip and let him know how much
I miss spending time with him.
“I’m okay now, don’t think about it too much, but
thanks…” I said smiling at him. My heart and mind floating from seeing how
flustered and concerned he was. “I’ve got your back Jess, you’re a great girl
and I won’t let anyone hurt you!” He said. “Thanks Phil.” I said.
A few minutes later, we laid back on the lounge
chairs and looked at the stars. “Jess…” Phillip said. I looked at him and saw
him looking at me. “Yes?” I said. “Promise me that even if you become a
superstar, you won’t forget me!” He said with a mischievious smile. “You’re
crazy” I said laughing. “You don’t have to worry about that, I think I should be
the one asking you not to forget me Mr. Heartthrob! Hahaha!” I answered back.
“That’s impossible… That would never happen… You’re not the type of person who
can be easily forgotten, nor would I like to do so” He said then went back to
looking at the stars. I smiled and thanked God that it was dark and Phillip
couldn’t see how big my grin is.
~~
I must have dozed off because when I opened my eyes,
I saw Phillip carrying me back inside. I pretended to still be asleep and buried
my head in his chest. I could smell his cologne and noted how musky it smelled,
it was perfect for him.
Upon entering my room, he gently laid me on the bed.
I felt him sit down on my bed and hold my hand.”Jess, I have so much to tell
you… but I need a little bit more time… I can’t…” He said. I waited for him to
continue, but he didn’t. He just tucked me in bed and kissed my hand and
left.
As soon as I heard him close my door, I opened my
eyes and stared at the ceiling. Wondering what it is that he wanted to tell me
but couldn’t. I wanted to ask him what he meant, but I need to give him time to
figure out what he wants to do. Smiling, I closed my eyes to get my much needed
sleep.
~~
I woke up early the following day. Phillip and I
together with the other finalists have an early morning meeting today. After
taking a shower and changing, I went to the dining room to eat breakfast with my
AI family. “Good Morning! Pretty Girl…” Colton greeted with a smile. “You look
gorgeous today! I like it!” He said. “Doesn’t she always?” Deandre said. “Stop
it you two… I just got to sleep well last night” I said smiling. I sat down
in-between Colton and Deandre. “Eat this Jess, You’ll need your energy for the
meeting today.” Colton said. “No- eat this Jess,” Deandre butted in while
offering me a plate of fruits. “Hahaha! You guys are the best! ” I said pulling
them both into a tight hug. Someone cleared his throat from the arch way of the
dining room and I saw Phillip looking at me. He looked at me in such a way that
I knew he saw the other guys scrambling to assist me. “Good Morning!” He said.
“What do we have for breakfast?” He asked without looking at me. “We have Toast,
Fruits, Bacon and Eggs.” Colton replied. Phillip sat in front of me and started
eating. After Colton and Deandre finished their breakfast they left to change
for the meeting.
Phillip and I ate our meals in silence. “Uhm, I woke
up in my bed today so you must have carried me back to my room after I dozed off
in the deck… Thank you!” I said, trying to break the tension between us. “No
Problem, We better move or we’ll be late for the meeting” He said dryly. “Is
there something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?” I asked. “No, you
didn’t do anything wrong, I just thought… Forget it, let’s get going.”He softly
said.
~~End of Chapter 2~~
Chapter III
~Phillips POV~
Preparing for the meeting, I stopped and sat down at
the edge of my bed. Thinking about why I felt different after seeing Jessica
with Colton and Deandre.
~Flashback~
Entering the dining room
I suddenly froze. “You look gorgeous today! I like it!” I Heard Colton tell
Jessica. “Doesn’t she always?” Deandre said. “Stop it you two… I just got to
sleep well last night” Jessica said. I saw her seat down in-between Colton and
Deandre. “Eat this Jess, You’ll need your energy for the meeting today.” Colton
said. “No- eat this Jess,” Deandre butted in while offering her a plate of
fruits. “Hahaha! You guys are the best! ” She said then hugged them
both.
~End of Flashback~
I certainly don’t think I should be reacting this
way. We’re all friends and I know how close she is to them. So what is this
feeling I have? Could it be jealousy? But I love Hannah… I thought to myself.
Stop It! I ordered myself. You have other things to think about and you have a
girlfriend! I told myself.
~~
“C’mon guys, we’re gonna be late if we don’t get
going” I heard Jessica say. I saw Colton standing beside her as the others got
in the limo. I gave her a slight smile before I entered and noticed that she
followed me in. I settled for a seat between Elise and HeeJun. I noticed Jessica
looking at me with a confused look on her face. I started to talk to Elise to
avoid looking at Jessica. I don’t know why I’m avoiding her, I guess I just want
time to think things through.
From the corner of my eye I could see her talking to
Colton and I saw them laughing at something Colton whispered in her ear. I felt
something inside me snap. Am I jealous? I asked myself. “You okay?” I heard
Elise ask me. “Yeah, still need sleep I guess…” I told her. Looking up I saw
Jessica and Colton listening to songs on her phone, sharing just one headset.
Jessica suddenly looked at me and smiled. I just nodded and tried to avoid
looking at her by closing my eyes and tilting my head back.
~End of Phillips POV~
~~
~Jessica’s POV~
I have to talk to Phillip, I thought to myself. I
don’t know what happened, what caused the change in his demeanor? When he
entered the limo, I followed hoping that we could sit down together and talk
about what’s bothering him. But he sat down beside Elise. I glanced at him with
a confused look. I didn’t know why he seemed to be avoiding me. This was the
first time he didn’t sit beside me and it feels weird not to have him beside me.
“Hey, mind if I sit with you?” asked Colton. “Sure!” I told him. He sat beside
me and started to fill me in with the latest pranks that Hee Jun did at the
party. I couldn’t help but laugh at the latest antics of Hee Jun. He really is
our resident prankster. “Jimmy sent me a few songs that he thinks could be
included if I record my album. Want to hear it?” I asked Colton handing him over
an earphone. “Sure, I know you could sing anything… You could sing the
Phonebook!” He joked.
While listening to the songs, I couldn’t help but
compare Phillip and Colton. Both were handsome, caring, amazingly talented, but
that was where there similarities end. Phillip was reserved and mysterious, plus
he had a girlfriend who adores him so much. Colton is easy going and funny, he’s
single, he’s a big flirt, and he always makes me comfortable.
“We’re here” Hee Jun announced, breaking me from my
thought. Why am I even comparing the two? I thought to myself. “Let’s continue
listening to these later, but I think everything is perfect for you Jess…” said
Colton.
As I stepped out of the limo, I looked for Phillip
hoping to talk to him but he was already a few feet away from me talking to the
other girls. “Shall we?” asked Colton while offering his arm like a true
gentleman. Smiling at him, I wrapped my arm around his and walked towards the
building.
~~End of Chapter 3~~
Chapter IV
~Phillips POV~
“So, we’d like to welcome you to our Interscope
family! We’re looking forward to working on your first record.” I heard Jimmy
Iovine, Chairman of Interscope Records, say to all of us. “Uh-mazing, I can’t
wait to hit the studio!” said Skylar. I still can’t believe that we just signed
a contract for our record. It felt surreal, I pinched myself to check if I was
dreaming, and the pain made me realize that this was real. Everybody went
around, hugging and congratulating everyone. “Hey.. Congratulations!” I heard
Jessica say. “Thanks, you too!” I told her. I suddenly couldn’t resist and
pulled her into a hug. “We made it!” I told her and released her from my
hug.
After everyone has settled down from the shock, Ann,
our Road Manager, told us that we have a week off and we had to be back by June
2nd to practice for the tour. “Let’s
celebrate!” said Hee Jun. “I agree, let’s have a cook out at the mansion!” said
Elise. “I agree!” chimed Hollie and Shannon at the same time. “Yeah! We have a
lot to thank for y’all!” said Skylar. “Nobody dare leave the mansion today!
We’ll all leave tomorrow!” said Joshua while laughing.
“Do we have everything we need for the cookout at the
mansion?” asked Deandre. “I could go to the store and grab a few things.” I
offered. “Ok then, we’ll meet you back at the mansion…” said Elise. Then
everyone went out of the room and I noticed that Jessica stayed behind. “Would
you like me to accompany you?” she asked. “No, you better join them and go ahead
to the mansion.” I told her with a soft smile. She looked surprised at my reply,
shrugged and quickly followed the others to the limo waiting for
them.
~End of Phillips POV~
~~
~Jessica’s POV~
“I’m excited to do my record! You have to promise me
that we would collaborate on a song…” I heard Colton tell me. “I think we should
do a cover of a song, what do you think?” he said. “Yeah, that would be great…
I’d love to collaborate with you…” I told him. “What do you think about the
song, Terrified by Katharine McPhee and Zachary Levi?” he asked me. “It’s a
great song, I have it on my phone, wanna listen to it?” I asked him. “Sure!”
Colton said. I handed him an earphone and placed the other end on my ear. I
closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder. While we were listening, I
thought about what happened earlier.
~Flashback~
“Hey.. Congratulations!”
I told Phillip. “Thanks, you too!” he said. He suddenly pulled me into a hug.
“We made it!” he told me before letting go.
~
“Would you like me to
accompany you?” I offered. “No, you better join them and go ahead to the
mansion.” He replied.
~End of Flashback~
I couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. He keeps
on sending me mixed signals and I’m starting to think that maybe the spark I
noticed between us was just something my mind made up from being with him all
the time during the weeks leading up to the finale. I needed a man’s opinion to
get a better idea on what Phillip is thinking.
“We’re home… wake up…” Colton said while nudging me.
I must have dozed off while my mind explored every facet of Phillip. “I’m gonna
go freshen up first.” Colton said. “Okay, I guess I’ll help the others prepare.”
I told him. I followed the others to the kitchen and helped with the
preparation.
“Hey Jess! Need some help?” Deandre asked. “Sure, you
can help me plus I wanted to ask you something.” I told him. “What’s up?” He
asked. “Dre, what would make you give mixed signals to a girl? I asked. “Huh?
What do you mean?” He asked confused. “What I mean to say is, if you’re close to
a girl and spend a lot of time together, what might cause you to suddenly change
the way you act around her? Like, one minute you treat her nicely and you show
her how special she is then a few hours or a day later, you suddenly act cold or
different.” I explained. “Hmmm, are we talking about anyone in particular?” He
nudged me playfully. “No, I… uh, someone asked me that question but I didn’t
know what to answer.” I told him. He seemed to have believed me because he
stopped nudging me and answered me. “Jess, a guy would give mixed signals if he
is unable to process his feelings properly. He might be trying to fight his
feelings from developing. Maybe he’s afraid of showing the truth, or maybe he’s
jealous,” He said. “that’s usually how I act when I’m jealous.” He added. “Oh, I
didn’t think of it that way.” I told him. “What should the girl do then?” I
asked. “She should ask the guy to come out clean.” He said. “Thanks Dre.” I told
him. “Anytime Jess!” he said.
A few minutes later, while we were all in the
backyard I noticed the other girls huddled in the table. “What have you got
there?” I asked them. “We’re reading an online article about Phillip.” Shannon
said. “Can I read it too?” I asked, “Sure! C’mon…” She said. I was about to read
the article when Phillip arrived. “Hey, I bought chips, hotdogs and patties.” He
said. “Let’s continue this later and help them prepare the food.”Skylar said.
“Okay…” Shannon answered then closed her Ipad.
“Hey guys, I hope you don’t mind but I brought
someone along.” Phillip said. “No problem!” They all replied. Phillip approached
me and looked at me awkwardly. “Jess, I just wanted to apologize about my
behavior earlier. I just have a lot going on in my mind…” he said. “That’s okay,
I know you still have a lot going on, but I wanted to ask you something…” I
said. “Go ahead.” He said. “Do you..” I started to ask him, stopping to think if
it’s proper for me to ask him if he had feelings for me, after all he already
has a girlfriend. “What is it Jessica?” He asked. “ I just wanted to know.” I
asked but stopped when I saw a slender hand grab his arm.
~End of Chapter 4~
Chapter V
~Jessica’s POV~
“There you are!” I heard Hannah say to Phillip. “Hi
Jessica, I didn’t get a chance to talk to you yesterday. I wanted to thank you
for taking care of Phillip during his stay here…” she told me. “No problem, we
all took turns taking care of him, we look out for each other here.” I told her
with a weak smile. “I’m sorry, was I interrupting something?” Hannah asked.
“Jess was about to…” Phillip said but I cut him off before he could finish his
sentence. “I was just about to tell him how excited I am to be singing on the
Memorial Day event.” I told Hannah. Phillip raised his brow and looked at me.
“Yeah, she was about to tell me just that.” He told her. “Ohh.. Well we’ll
surely watch your performance on TV.” said Hannah. “Thanks, well we better get
in and grab some food before it’s gone…” I told them. “We’re going to follow
you, we just need to get a few more stuff from the car.” said Hannah. “Okay.” I
told her and nodded at Phillip.
I walked to the house slowly. Contemplating about
what a huge mess I could have created if I told Phillip what I felt. How silly
am I? I asked myself. He clearly has a girlfriend who’s pretty, supportive and
kind. I guess I was just carried away by spending a lot of time with him. But
what about those moments when he was so caring and attentive to my needs? He
doesn’t do that to the other girls in the house? I silently mulled over as I
entered the house.
~End of Jessica’s POV~
~
~Colton’s POV~
“Hey! The hotdogs are almost burnt!” I heard Hee Jun
say. I looked down at the hotdogs I was cooking and saw that the edges were
almost charred. “Sorry, I spaced out for a moment…” I told him. “Maybe I should
take over and maybe you could just put the chips in a bowl” Hee Jun suggested.
“Thanks…” I said. “What were you thinking? Or should I say, who were you
thinking about?” he joked. “What are you trying to imply Hee Jun?” I asked
smiling. “C’mon Colt… Everybody here knows you like Jess! You’ve been following
her around like a personal assistant…” He explained. “But she doesn’t seem to
notice.” I told him. “Give her time man, after all, she’s still jailbait.” He
said.
I left him alone to mull over what he said. Yes, I
guess I’ve been trying to deny my feelings for her since the day I first saw her
on stage.
~Flashback~
♪♫♪♫ I
know you’re the best, You’ve passed
every test, It’s
almost too good to be true…
You’re the perfect
man for me, I love you I do, You’re the perfect
man for me, I love you I
do♪♫♫♪
“Amaaazzzzinnng!!!!” I
shouted over the ruckus. This girl knows how to sing, I said to myself. “Whew!
How can she sing that way, she’s just 16!” I heard Joshua shout over the cheers
of the crowd. I’ve got to know her better, I thought to
myself.
~End of Flashback~
~
That was the first time I watched her perform and I
was immediately hooked. I made it a point to approach her after that performance
and we’ve been friends ever since. I didn’t notice I was starting to develop
feelings for her until the day that she almost got booted off.
~Flashback~
“The person at risk of
leaving us tonight, is… Jessica Sanchez!” said Ryan. “What?” I shouted but no
one heard me because everyone was shocked at the result. “Go on! Use the save…”
I heard Phillip say to the judges as Jessica started singing. “Yeah! Use the
save…” I hollered at them.
~
“That was a close one!”
Jessica told me after the show. “You’re not going anywhere… You belong here!” I
told her. I hugged her and comforted her. In a way I was relieved to know that
she won’t be sent home. I was absolutely devastated when her name was announced.
“Come here Jess…” said Phillip. He then enveloped her into a hug and told her
something I couldn’t decipher over the background music. I suddenly felt
jealous. Whoa! Why do I feel this way? I asked myself. Am I starting to develop
feelings for her? I thought to myself. “Colt, let’s go home…” Jessica said and
grabbed my hand. I felt electricity surge from my where her hand touched mine
flowing to the rest of my body and I knew, I had fallen for
her.
~End of Flashback~
“Hey, are you okay?” a female voice said,
interrupting me from my daydream. I looked up to see who it was and saw Jessica
standing in front of me. “I’m okay, I was just reminiscing about the show.” I
said. “Yeah, we had a pretty good time, but I’m sure will still have those
moments when we go on tour.” She said. I nodded and patted the space beside me.
“Can you sit down for a moment?” I want to tell you something.” I told her.
“Sure!” she said then plopped down beside me. I took her hand and looked her in
the eye. “Jess, I need you to listen carefully to what I have to say… Let me
talk first and if you have anything to say then I’ll listen to it after i’m
finished.” I told her. She nodded and smiled at me. “Jess, I know you’ve got a
lot on your mind now and you’re probably going to be busy after the tour.” I
said. “What I mean to say is… you’re young and you’re gonna.. No.. that’s not
what I wanted to say.” I stammered. Jessica laughed and said, “C’mon Colton, why
are you stuttering? Just say what you have to say, I promise I won’t get mad and
it won’t affect our friendship!” I looked her in the eye and knew she was
telling the truth. Here goes nothing… I thought to myself. “Jessica, we’ve been
friends since the start and you know I’ve got only your best interest in my
heart. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I know you’re still young and you’re
probably not yet thinking about love, but I wanted you to know that I have
feelings for you, I’m going to wait till you’re 18 before I court you, I just
wanted to be honest about my feelings.” I said. “Colton, thank you for being
honest about your feelings… You know that you’re already a part of my life
right?” she said then hugged me.
“C’mon, let’s go out and see if there’s any food
left” she said and held my hand, leading me out the door into the backyard where
our other friends were busy chatting and eating together. Out of the corner of
my eye I saw someone hidden behind the ornamental curtain which separated the
couch where I just told Jessica about my feelings, from the hallway.
“Here you go.” Jessica said while giving me a plate
full of chips and burgers. “Thanks!” I told her and sat down next to her. “How
long does it take to get a couple of sodas?” Elise asked. “Would you like me to
get some for you?” I asked her. “Phillip went in a couple of minutes ago to get
some but seems to be taking a long time.” She said.
~End of Chapter 5~
Chapter VI
~Phillip’s POV~
I stood there in shock, listening to Colton confess
his feelings to Jess. I felt anger building up inside me, and I was gripping my
hand so hard that my knuckles were almost devoid of blood. What are you doing
just standing here? You should stop him from completely telling her how he
feels; I could hear my inner demon saying. I started to walk towards the couch
but stopped, my conscience, trying to prevent me from doing something I might
regret. You have a girlfriend; she’s too young to be in a relationship and
you’re not even sure about what you feel? I heard my conscience saying.
I could hear Jessica talking but I couldn’t
understand what she was saying. I heard movement from behind the curtain and
ducked behind the wall to avoid being seen. I saw her holding Colton’s hand and
leading him to the backyard. Did she accept his proposal? I thought to myself.
You’re getting ahead of yourself; I sat down on a stool and tried to calm
myself. You’re overreacting, you’re not even sure about what she told him, I
told myself.
“Love, are you okay?” I heard Hannah ask me, I didn’t
notice her standing by the door. “Huh?” I said. “We were wondering what’s taking
you so long.” She said. “You look upset, are you feeling ill?” she asked looking
concerned. “I just need time to think, is it okay if I ask you to leave me for a
while? I asked, knowing that I’m hurting her by not telling her what I’m
feeling, but I have to think about a lot of things. Things I haven’t been paying
attention. Things like little details that I’ve been avoiding that seem to be
haunting me now. “You know you can talk to me about anything, I’m here for you
Phillip.” Hannah said. “Talk to me.” I heard her saying. “Han, I just need time
alone, please?” I told her. “Why are you being this way Phillip, you used to be
able to tell me everything that’s on your mind.” “Hannah, please… I can’t tell
you about it right now.” I pleaded with her, my voice rising up a notch. “No,
I’m not going to move unless you tell me what it is, we’re in this together.”
She said stubbornly, determined to know what I was thinking. “I can’t… I just
can’t.” I told her softly. “You’ve never kept something from me.” She said
dejectedly. “Fine, if you want me to leave you, then I’m leaving… I’m going to
give you the space you need.” She said with tears brimming in her eyes, and then
hurriedly left the room. What are you doing? I asked myself. You’re ruining your
relationship with her. Go apologize to her, I told myself. I ran after her,
determined to not let our 3 year relationship end like this. As I opened the
front door, I heard her car tires screech against the concrete driveway.
“Hannah!” I shouted, hoping that she would turn her car around and allow me to
apologize. Shaken at the rapid pace of events that just transpired, I felt my
legs give way and I fell down on my knees, tears starting to stream down my
face.
~End of Phillip’s POV~
~
~Jessica’s POV~
“How many people does it take to get a couple of
sodas?” Elise asked. “Wasn’t Phillip supposed to get some?” Shannon said. “Yeah,
and Hannah followed him a couple of minutes ago to check why he hasn’t returned
but it’s been 5 minutes since she left and I still don’t see any sodas!” Elise
complained. “Maybe they’re busy…” joked Hee Jun. Feeling thirsty, I stood up and
said, “I’ll go get some, I’m parched.” I told the others. “Want me to get it for
you?” I heard Colton ask me. “No, finish your food. Would you like me to get a
soda for you too?” I asked him. He nodded and continued eating.
As soon as I stepped inside, I saw Phillip by the
main door shouting Hannah’s name. Thinking that something might have happened I
ran towards the door. Yanking it open, I saw Phillip kneeled over and crying. He
was looking at the horizon as if searching for a glimpse of something far away.
“What happened? Where’s Hannah, Are you Okay?” I couldn’t stop my mouth from
asking every vital question I needed an answer to. I needed to know what was
happening. I grabbed his arm to help him up and grabbed a handkerchief from my
pocket and gave it to him. Out of the blue he looked at me and hugged me
tightly. “Thank you …” I heard him whisper in my ear. Confused at what he meant
I broke out of the hug and looked at him. “What happened, PP?” I asked him.
“Hannah and I just broke up.” He said. “Why did you guys break up? You were just
acting like a lovesick couple earlier.” I told him. “Hannah believes that trust
is fundamental in any relationship, so when I told her that I couldn’t tell her
what I was thinking about, she thought that I was hiding something or I that I
just didn’t trust her anymore. I’m not even sure that we’re really done. She
just told me she’s going to give me the space I need.” He explained. “Ohh… Why
don’t you just tell her what’s on your mind? So that she won’t think that you’re
keeping something from her?” I asked. “Because telling her the truth is worse
than keeping it a secret.” He said, and then went back in. leaving me dazed.
What might he be keeping from Hannah? I asked myself.
~Flashback~
Upon entering my room, he
gently laid me on the bed. I felt him sit down on my bed and hold my hand.”Jess,
I have so much to tell you… but I need a little bit more time… I can’t…” He
said.
~End of Flashback
Am I the reason why they broke up? I wondered to
myself.
~End of Jessica’s POV~
~
~Phillip’s POV~
I walked into the house and headed towards my room. I
was no longer in the mood to join the celebration and needed time to think about
a lot of things. I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes.
~Flashback~
I heard the door open and
felt someone stand beside me. “What happened? Where’s Hannah, Are you Okay?” I
heard the person who turned out to be Jessica ask me. She grabbed my hand and
helped me to stand up. I don’t know why but I was happy that the person who saw
me was Jessica. I looked at her and saw her eyes full of concern that I couldn’t
help myself from pulling her into a hug. “Thank you.” I whispered in her ear.
~End of Flashback~
I opened my eyes and started thinking about other
moments when Jessica was there for me. I remember singing we’ve got tonight and
wondered why I was only thinking about Jessica throughout the whole song. I
guess I was trying to deny that I was falling for her. I jumped out of bed,
scrambling to get to the door. I needed to talk to Jessica. I needed to know if
she felt the same way.
I ran out the door and saw her still standing there.
She looked at me with confusion masking her face.
~End of Chapter 6~
Chapter VII
~Phillip’s POV~
I stood there, wondering if it would be okay for me
to tell her how I feel. What if she doesn’t feel that way? What if she already
agreed to go out with Colton, I asked myself. You won’t know if you won’t ask
her, I told myself. I drew her into a hug and heaved a sigh of unrepressed
relief. “I don’t fully understand what this is, but help me understand it.” I
whispered in her ear.
I was about to kiss her when I heard a car door slam.
My head snapped towards the direction of the sound and i automatically let go of
Jessica. “Great, I was about to look for you Phillip.” I heard our road manager
Ann saying, with a curious look on her face. Jessica looked at me then shifted
her attention to Ann. “I’ll leave you guys then, it was nice to see you Ann.”
She said and then left.
After a few minutes, Ann led me to the home office
and closed the door behind her. “What’s wrong Ann?” I asked her. “I just wanted
to talk to you about a couple of things.” She said. I nodded and signaled for
her to begin. “First things first, we’ve already set your recording schedule.”
She said then handed a piece of paper. “You’ll see the schedule there.” She
said. “Okay, I’ll send a copy to my Doctor so he can schedule my surgery before
the tour.” I told her. “Okay, let’s move on to the next matter, it’s not really
a big deal but the upper management just wanted me to talk to you about it.” She
said. “Well, lately there have been a lot of gossip about you and Jessica;
people seem to see the chemistry you have together. Now, we know there’s nothing
going on between you, but the higher ups seem to think that we should try and
avoid adding fuel to these gossips.” She said. “Why? As you said, there’s
nothing between us…” I asked. I was bewildered at the idea that a lot of people
have noticed what I thought I only noticed. “You don’t know how savage people
are in this industry. They don’t care if it’s true; all they need is a couple of
people who would believe them. They might use that gossip to tarnish your image.
They’re going to portray you as a Casanova and Jessica as the other woman.” She
explained. “What should I do? I don’t want to ruin everything Jessica and I have
worked so hard for.” I asked her. “You have to show them that you have a perfect
relationship with Hannah. Bring her in all of your interviews and make sure that
if there’s an official AI business, that you would avoid being with Jessica
throughout the event.” She said. “Hannah and I broke up today… I don’t know if I
can and if I want to avoid Jessica.” I told her. “Have you told anyone that you
and Hannah broke up?” she asked. I shook my head and said, “Only Jessica knows
about it.” I told her. “You have to tell her that it was just a misunderstanding
and that you and Hannah got back together; Mend your relationship with Hannah.”
She ordered. “I don’t know if I still feel the same for Hannah. I think I like
Jess.” I told her. “Phillip, she’s 16 and even if you get into a relationship,
it won’t be legal. Wait for a few years, and if you still feel the same, then go
for it, people won’t mind then… Right now, giving it a shot with her could be
suicidal to both your careers.” She said, leaving me confused with what I should
do.
~End of Phillip’s POV~
~
~Jessica’s POV~
I was still mulling over the course of events when I
heard the door open. I glanced over and saw Phillip standing there, looking at
me. I noticed him hesitating then he approached me and hugged me. “I don’t fully
understand what this is, but I’d like you to help me understand it.” He
whispered in my ear. I could feel a warm yet comforting sensation from his hug;
it was something I’ve never felt before. All doubts I ever had before about what
he was feeling quickly dissipated. I looked up and met his eyes. Is this real? I
asked myself. I saw him about to lean in for a kiss when we heard a car door
slam. He his eyes shifted to the origin of the noise and I felt him release me.
I followed his gaze and saw our Road Manager Ann looking at us. “Great, I was
about to look for you Phillip.” She said. I nodded and said, “I’ll leave you
guys then, it was nice to see you Ann.”
I entered the house and went to the kitchen to grab a
couple of sodas. Blushing at the thought of what might have happened if Ann
didn’t arrive; I went to the sink and splashed cold water over my face. Once I
was sure that my cheeks was no longer flamed I went out to the backyard and
joined the others. I gave Elise, who gave me a gratuitous look, a soda and set
the others on the table. “Let’s go to the entertainment room and maybe Josh
could spin some hits on the DJ booth.” Hee Jun suggested. We tidied up and all
moved to the entertainment room. We all hit the dance floor as Joshua spun hit
after hit. I kept glancing at the door, wondering why Phillip hadn’t come back
yet. After our dance showdown, some of the girls opened the sing-along machine
and Shannon took the microphone to start the ball rolling, then Hollie and
Deandre followed with their favorite songs of the season. I noticed Phillip
entering and I beckoned for him to sit beside me. He looked at me with a stony
expression and went over to where the boys were huddled.
“Let’s start a game, boys versus girls…” Hee Jun
proposed. “Each person shall think of a song that you sang during the show and
write it on this paper, then once you’re called pick a name from this basket and
the person you pick will sing the song you wrote. Whoever gets the mannerism and
quality impeccably gets a point for the team.” He said then handed a sheet of
paper. “What’s the prize?” If you girls win, we’ll do whatever you tell us, and
if you lose, you’ll give each of us a kiss on the cheek.” He said with a big
grin on his face. “Let’s do this; we’ll make them dress in drag for the first
day of the tour if they lose.” Skylar said laughing.
I picked a song that I felt suited the situation I
was in. “Let’s begin!” Jeremy said then picked a name from the basket. “And the
first person who will pick is… Joshua! Come here and pick a name from this
basket.” He said. Joshua picked a name and gave it to Jeremy. “The person, who
will sing Joshua’s pick of Imagine by John Lennon, is… Elise!” said Jeremy.
Elise did a great Job of mimicking Joshua’s move that the boys didn’t even
contest when a point was given to us. Joshua then sang Elise’s pick of Whole
Lotta love and got an impeccable impression of Elise. Hollie flawlessly sang
Deandre’s pick of I like it and Deandre sang Jesus take the wheel but couldn’t
quite copy Hollie’s mannerisms. Erica Sang Hee Jun’s choice of A song for you
but couldn’t copy his gesticulations. Hee Jun sang New York State of mind and
delivered it perfectly. Shannon sang Ribbon in the sky and Jeremy sang one sweet
Day. Skylar sang Piano man while Colton sang Gunpowder and lead, which left me
and Phillip to battle for the crucial point since both teams were tied at four
points each. I sang Phillip’s choice of We’ve got tonight and had to stop myself
from crying. Everybody applauded my version and said that I got the emotion that
he showed the night he performed it, the boys grudgingly awarded us with a point
and stated that it’s going to be a tie because Phillip will surely do a good job
of imitating me. He hesitated to go to the stage but was coaxed by the guys into
performing. He went up the stage and got the microphone. I heard the starting
notes of the song play and listened intently, hoping that he would know that I
was thinking of him when I picked that song.
♪♫♫♪♪♫ Everyday I’m waking
up to déjà vu, Someone it’s always
telling me Not to stick with you
Could it be the nights we spent to
fixing us, I never thought that we
were really that messed up
Should have shut my mouth and kept it all to myself
Cause now they’ve got me feeling
, I should be with somebody else
They say we don’t fit together,
I could do better, There’s
always something
They don’t know
the hell we’ve been through
Cause when you hold me like you do,
That’s when I wanna change nothing
There were times when we would kiss with bitter lips, It don’t matter when the good ones taste
like this
Maybe we were
broken more than once or twice, What
we got bad or not I’m not gonna compromise.
I should have never let that words get under my
skin, Cause all I ever wanted was to
find a way through this. ♪♫♪♫♪
“I’m sorry, I
can’t do this… This is silly…” I heard Phillip saying. He gave the microphone to
Jeremy then left the room leaving all of us baffled. “What’s that all about?” I
heard Colton ask. “Beats me, I guess the girls won…”said
Deandre.
The girls started
hollering and jumping in joy, but I was still perplexed at what
happened.
~End of Jessica’s POV~
~End of Chapter 7~
Chapter VIII
~Phillip’s POV~
I jostled the microphone to Jeremy and ran out of the
room as fast as I could. I wanted to get away from that room… from her stares…
from the melody of her song… from everything in there that reminded me of how
much I needed her… It reminded me of how much I had to sacrifice just to see her
dreams come true. I could feel tears brimming over my eyes and knew that the
pain I felt in my heart wouldn’t be easy to let go. I still had something
crucial to do; I didn’t know how to explain everything to her in a way that
wouldn’t hurt her. I knew that what I was going to do would hurt me more than it
would hurt her.
~Flashback~
“You can’t tell her about
what we talked about Phillip! She has to think that you’re not really into her
so she would stop fawning over you!” said Ann, our road manager. “You want me to
break her heart?” I asked incredulously shaking my head. I can’t do that to her,
I thought to myself. “I’m not saying you have to break her heart, just don’t
tell her about what we talked about. She might not understand it, she’s still
young… it’s up to you to protect her by convincing her that friendship is all
you can offer.” She said. “If and when the time comes, maybe in two years or
more, that you would like to follow what you feel for her, then I would
personally explain everything to her.” she offered. “For now, you both have to
focus on making it big in the industry…” she said.
~End of Flashback~
I ran all the way to the deck. It was the only place
in the house that was special to Jessica and me. During the final week, we used
to hang out here and just watch the sunrise or the sunset. I realized that in a
way, this was where I started to develop feelings for her.
“Hey, are you okay?” I heard someone say. I froze,
completely aware of who was asking me that question. Why did she follow me? I
thought to myself. I guess it’s now or never… I told myself. I turned around to
face her and looked at her intently. “What are you doing here? Why did you
follow me? I asked her coldly. “I didn’t know why you ran away so I followed
you.” She said, confusion masking her voice. She moved towards me and I took a
step backward. “What’s wrong Phillip? You were just telling me about how you
couldn’t understand what you were feeling before Ann arrived.” She said. “I
thought that…” she whimpered. “You thought what? That I wouldn’t go back to
Hannah and stay with you?” I said scathingly, hoping it would make her stop
asking too many questions. “Jessica, you’re my friend, and that’s all we can
be.” I told her, my voice cracking slightly. I felt like a monster after what I
just said. I looked at her and saw tears streaming down her face. I felt a
twinge of guilt upon seeing her face but knew that I needed to keep my face from
showing any softness towards her. “Why did you say those things then? What was
the point behind what happened earlier?” she said. I shifted my gaze, acutely
aware that I couldn’t answer her and knowing that I have given her too much
grief. All I wanted to do was to run over to her and hug her. Tell her I was
sorry and that I was just advised to say those things to protect her and help
her turn her dream into reality. I wanted to tell her I was willing to let go of
my Idol dream, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it not just because of what it
would do to us, but because I also had to think about my parents and all the
sacrifices they did just to help me fulfill my dream. “Why aren’t you saying
anything?” she said. “So, you’re basically saying that you don’t feel anything
for me? That, you just see me as a friend and nothing else… Is that it?” she
said, her voice rising up a notch. I hesitated for a moment. You could still
tell her the truth and just deal with the consequences later. I thought to
myself. “Yes…” I whispered. “I didn’t hear you.” She said. “Yes… I only see you
as a friend and nothing else.” I told her and then turned my back at her so she
wouldn’t see the tears that were streaming down my face. “I don’t believe you… I
know you’re lying and I’m not gonna stop until I know the truth.” She said and
then ran away.
I’m sorry Jess; it’s the way it’s supposed to be for
now. I thought to myself. I didn’t know how I would be able to look at myself in
the mirror after what I’ve done. She didn’t deserve that! I told myself. I
placed my hand in my pocket and got my phone. Wiping my tears with one hand, I
dialed using the other and placed the phone parallel to my ear, waiting for the
other person to pick up.
~End of Phillip’s POV~
~
~Jessica’s POV~
“Yes… I only see you as a friend and nothing else.”
His words kept echoing in my mind. I felt numb when I heard him say that. What’s
happening? I thought that he felt the same? I told myself. I was at a complete
loss over what happened. How could he say one thing then change his mind all of
a sudden? I asked myself. How can he explain those tender moments we shared?
What about that part where we almost kissed had we not been interrupted by Ann.
was that all just a lie? Could he really mean everything he just said? Questions
filled my head. It felt so surreal, I felt like this was just a nightmare I was
about to wake up from. Maybe this is just a nightmare and when i wake up,
everything’s gonna be back to normal. I told myself. I was shaking from crying
too much that I sat down on the steps of the stairs to try and calm myself but I
couldn’t stop my tears from falling.
“Jess, what’s wrong?” I heard Colton asking as he ran
towards me and stood before me. He wrapped his arm around me and made soothing
sounds to help me calm down. He carried me to the couch and cradled me in his
arms. After a few minutes, I calmed down and laid there with my head buried in
his neck. “You always find me whenever I’m down… Thank you Colton!” I told him
and gave him a kiss on his forehead. “I guess I better go back to my room and
pack.” I told him. “Are you sure you’re completely fine now?” he asked. I nodded
and stood up. “I’ll come get you once dinner is ready, I have to make sure
you’ll eat something okay?” he said with a smile. I nodded and left.
I went up to my room because I wanted to start
packing my things. But as soon as I entered my room, I saw my bed and remembered
that night when Phillip carried me to my bed and told me that he needed to tell
me something. I felt tears gush down my cheeks and I angrily wiped them away.
Stop thinking about him! You’re just hurting yourself by clinging on to all the
memories you have. I told myself. I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling
and then started berating myself. If he doesn’t want you in return then you have
to stop placing your attention on him and maybe you’ll find someone who will
never hurt you and be there for you no matter what happens. I thought to myself.
You already found someone like that, remember him? He’s always there for you
whenever you need him, he always places your concerns and needs before his, he
makes it a point to make sure you have a smile on your face… my mind recapped
all of his qualities to me. Colton deserves to be with you, he would never hurt
you like what Phillip constantly does. I thought to myself. I have to make sure
that Phillip is really telling the truth before I completely erase all my
feelings for him. It would be unfair to Colton if I start reciprocating his
feelings without completely resolving my feelings for Phillip. I thought to
myself.
~End of Jessica’s POV~
~End of Chapter VIII~
Chapter IX
~Colton’s POV~
I sat there watching Jessica walk away; wondering
what might have caused her to cry. It must have been something that happened
after the game. What could it be? I thought as images of seeing her crying
hysterically flashed before my eyes. I was fuming at the idea that somebody
might have done something to make her cry. She was so fragile and innocent in my
eyes that I couldn’t fathom why anyone would want to hurt her. Deandre walked
over and sat down beside me. “Who’s the enemy?” he asked me. “What do you mean?”
I asked back. “You look like you’re about to chop someone into pieces… If looks
could kill, I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of your stares…” he
explained. “Did something happen?” he added. “I’m not sure, but I’m going to
find out.” I told him. “After Phillip stormed out, did you notice anyone else
leaving the room?” I asked him. He shrugged and furrowed his brows deep in
thought. “I think I saw Jessica leaving the room after he left… Nobody else
followed them from what I recall.” He said. If Jessica was the only person who
left, then the only person who she might have talked to would be Phillip. I
thought to myself. Why would she cry because of him? I asked myself. I was still
mulling over things when I came to a realization. I clearly remember the night
of the finale, Jessica cried when she saw Phillip kissing Hannah… She also
followed him inside the limo the day we went to Interscope records and seemed
disturbed when Phillip didn’t sit next to her… She also offered to get the soda
during lunch when she heard Elise say that Phillip was taking too long in the
kitchen… I shook my head sheepishly. No, that’s impossible… I know she has a
crush on him, as all the other girls here do… but is there something deeper
going on between them? I pondered silently.
“Have you seen Phillip?” I asked Deandre. “I think I
saw him on the deck, but I’m not sure if he’s still there.” He said. “Thanks…” I
told him and then stood up. I was determined to find out what happened and knew
that I could get the answers I needed from Phillip.
I ran all the way to the deck, searching for the man
who might have hurt my girl. I saw him sitting on one of the lounge chairs
looking grief stricken. Something inside me snapped… my mind was scrambling to
put the pieces together after seeing that he was just as melancholic as Jessica
was earlier. What happened here? I silently mused.
“Phillip, can I talk to you.” I asked him. He jumped
up in surprise and stood up clumsily. “What do you want, Colton?” he asked me.
“I just want to know what happened here earlier.” I told him and his eyes
slightly widened. “What do you mean? Nothing happened here.” He said. “Don’t
fool me Phillip, I saw Jessica crying on the stairs leading up here and you also
have that grief stricken look like her.” I told him. “It’s not really your
business Colton.” He said coldly. I felt all of my anger and pent up frustration
building up and it took me a lot of self control not to run over to him and beat
the crap out of him. “It becomes my business when I see Jessica getting hurt.” I
told him dryly. “I just told her that I could not offer her anything more than
friendship.” He said. “Why is she bawling her eyes out if that’s the only thing
you told her?” I asked him my voice quivering with anger. “And why would she
even need to be reminded that you could only offer her friendship, she knows
that you have a girlfriend.” I added. “I misled her into thinking I could offer
her something more than friendship and I guess she thought that we could really
be together.” He said and I noticed his voice slightly cracking. “I did this for
her Colton, I can’t explain it right now, but I hope you’ll believe me…” he
added ruefully. Revolted at all the things he just said, I turned my back and
started walking away but stopped and told him. “I’ll never let you hurt her
again, I’m done thinking about it… I’m going to get her from you.” And then i
walked away.
~End of Colton’s POV~
~
~Phillip’s POV~
“I did this for her Colton, I can’t explain it right
now, but I hope you’ll believe me…” I told him ruefully. He turned his back and
started walking away but stopped and told me. “I’ll never let you hurt her
again; I’m done thinking about it… I’m going to get her from you.” And then he
walked away.
How did things get so complicated? I asked myself. I
felt distressed at what he said about Jessica crying on the staircase. Why are
you even surprised? You did that to her. I felt my conscience reprimanding me. I
was numb at the idea of how sad Jessica might be. I sank into the chair and
buried my head in my hands. Will I ever see Jessica smile at me? Will she ever
look at me the same way? I asked myself. Probably Not… After what you did?
You’ll be lucky if she even looks at you. I told myself.
“I’ll never let you hurt her again; I’m done thinking
about it… I’m going to get her from you.” I heard Colton’s words replaying over
and over in my head. I wanted to tell him that I would never let anyone take
Jessica away from me. I wanted to tell him the truth that I have feelings for
Jessica and it was hard for me to see her with anyone else. But I knew that I
had to do something to protect her. And if protecting her means that I would
risk seeing her with someone else, then it was a risk I was willing to take just
to see her dreams fulfilled. In two years, I’ll get you back, Jessica… Don’t let
your feelings go… I thought to myself.
“Hey, I’m here…” I heard someone say. Looking up I
saw Hannah approaching me. “What did you want to talk about?” she asked me and
sat down in front of me. “Han, I’m sorry about what happened earlier.” I told
her and looked at her. She was smiling at me and she took my hand and held it.
“You don’t have to say sorry… I should be the one saying it… I shouldn’t have
stormed off earlier because I knew deep down that this was a reality I had to
accept” she said. I looked at her, completely puzzled. “I guess I was trying to
deny the fact that halfway into the show, we were already slowly drifting apart.
You were my best friend first before you became my boyfriend, so I know how your
mind works.” She told me and gave off a soft laugh. “I know you like Jessica…
I’ve noticed how you stare and look at her and if I remember correctly, that was
how you stared and looked at me before you asked me out.” She said. “I’m sorry
Hannah… You’re still my best friend.” I told her. “Don’t be sorry, we had fun
for three years… Maybe it’s time to explore a world outside ours.” She said.
“Where’s Jessica?” she asked me. “I don’t know Han, I told her I couldn’t be
with her and she shouldn’t expect me to fall for her.” I told her. “Now why in
hell would you even think of doing that, Phillip?” she asked me with her mouth
gaped open. I then told her of what Ann told me and what I had to do to protect
Jessica. Unlike Colton, I could tell Hannah about it because I knew she would
understand my reason for doing what I did and I trusted her enough to know that
she wouldn’t tell a soul about what I just told her. “Okay, I’ll help you in any
way I could.” Hannah said and then pulled me in for a hug.
~End of Phillip’s POV~
~
~Jessica’s POV~
“Jess, Dinner’s ready…” I heard Colton saying as he
knocked on my door. “I’ll be out in a minute.” I told him and ran to my vanity
to make sure that my face bore no trace of what happened earlier. I combed my
hair and made sure that my eyes were no longer puffy before heading out the
door. Colton held my hand and led me to the dining room where almost everyone
was gathered. “We should all eat together since it’s our last day in the house.”
Hee Jun explained after seeing my surprise at seeing all of them there. I nodded
and sat down next to Colton. “Where are Erica, Elise and Phillip?” I heard
Jeremy ask Hee Jun. “They just got a few more stuff from the kitchen, oh… Here
they are now…” said Hee Jun. I looked up and saw them entering the room, the
smell of the dishes they held wafting all over the room. “That smells
delicious.” I told them. “Yeah, it smells great and I bet it tastes great…” said
Hollie. “Of course it does! Hannah cooked it for us.” Elise said.
~End of Jessica’s POV~
~ End of Chapter IX~
Chapter X
~Jessica’s POV~
I was taken aback at what Elise said. Why would
Hannah cook for us? I thought that they broke up? I mulled silently. I glanced
up and saw Hannah and Phillip walking together hand in hand. I met Phillip’s
gaze and saw him stare at me intently before ushering Hannah to her seat. Dinner
went by smoothly, partly because I had Colton with me. He catered to me like a
doting boyfriend and I noticed Phillip throwing sharp glances at us. Why does he
even care if Colton treats me affectionately? I thought that he only sees me as
a friend and nothing else? I asked myself. I saw him looking at me and I met his
gaze for a second then I saw him offer me a smile but I couldn’t let go of the
pain he caused me so I shifted my gaze to Colton and from the corner of my eye,
I saw his smile falter.
Hollie and Joshua suggested having a bonfire after
dinner. So, once everybody was stuffed, they went out to prepare everything we
needed for the bonfire leaving Colton, Phillip, Hannah and I on kitchen duty.
Colton and I decided to be in charge of loading the dishes into the dishwasher
while Hannah and Phillip took care of the leftovers and the table. We all did
our chores in relative silence and after a few minutes of overwhelming tension,
I could no longer bear to be in the same room, so once we were done with our
tasks; I grabbed Colton’s hand and led him to the deck. “What are we doing here
Jess?” he asked. “The bonfire is in the backyard.” He added. “I know… I just
needed to talk to you and hopefully get this huge weight off my chest.” I told
him. He nodded and led me to one of the lounge chairs where he sat down and
pulled me to his lap. “I can sit on the chair…” I told him. But he refused to
let me go and kept his arms around me. “What do you want to talk about?” he
asked. “I know you’ve been wondering why I was crying earlier today.” I told
him. “Oh… that… What about it?” Well, I wanted to tell you what happened but you
have to promise me that you won’t do anything to the other person involved.” I
told him. He nodded and waited for me to continue. “I confronted Phillip about
his feelings for me… I thought that he and Hannah broke up and that he wanted to
be with me.” I said, trying hard not to let my emotions conquer me. “But I was
wrong, he could never offer me anything other than friendship.” I told him. “I
know I should stop thinking about him, but something feels off…” I added. “I
want to learn how to like you in the same way, but I don’t want to rush my
feelings without finding out if he really meant all of the things he said! It
wouldn’t be fair to you if I would give you a chance, knowing that I’m still not
convinced about everything that Phillip told me. ” I told him. He gazed at me
lovingly and said, “I don’t want you to rush your feelings too… I know you still
want to accomplish a lot of things.” Find out if Phillip really meant what he
said… No matter what he would say… I’m here to support you.” He added. I just
stared at him, wondering what I might have done in my past life to be blessed
with a guy like him. I hugged him and said, “Thank you Colt! You’re a great
friend.” “So I’ve been told…” he said laughingly. “Has the weight been lifted
off your shoulder?” he asked and gave me a peck on the forehead. “Yeah…” I
replied. “Let’s go join the others then.” He said and then stood up.
I took Colton’s hand and led him to where they set
up the bonfire. We sat on the grass and he wrapped his arms around me seeing as
it was an unpleasantly cold night. I noticed Phillip and Hannah walking
affectionately to where we were seated. They sat down a few feet away from us
and started talking to the others. Joshua brought out a guitar and handed it
over to Colton. “Sing a song, Sing a song, Sing a song…” they all chanted.
Colton looked at me and winked. He then started strumming the first notes of the
song Love the way you lie and I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of the song
he chose. I glanced at Phillip and saw him looking at me while he was singing
along with Colton. Then I remembered something that happened while we were
rehearsing for the finale.
~Flashback~
“Jess, are you ready? We
need to be in the studio in an hour. I’ll wait for you in the car.” I heard him
say. “I’m ready… I’m just going to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.” I
told him. I ran to the kitchen and got 2 bottles of water. I went out and saw
him already seated in the car looking at me. I had to look away or he might have
seen me blush from his stare. “I got a bottle of water for you.” I said and then
handed it to him. “Thank you.” He said. I was having difficulty managing the
seatbelt so he said, “Let me help you with that.” He leaned towards me and
started fixing my seatbelt. My heart started pounding wildly that I had to take
deep breaths to calm myself. “Why are you so wired up? He asked then winked at
me. “Nothing…” I replied and started fidgeting my phone to distract myself.
“Done…” he said then laughed. “Thank you…” I told him then I reached out and
turned on the radio. “Nuh-uh… I’ll sing…” He said then turned the radio off.
“Oh, okay… sing your heart out.” I joked. He then started singing Love the way
you lie.
~End of Flashback~
I glanced up and I saw him still staring at me, as if
he saw what I remembered.
~End of Jessica’s POV~
~
~Phillip’s POV~
I saw Jessica grab Colton’s hand and lead him out of
the kitchen. Sighing, I turned my back on the door and faced Hannah. “Are you
sure you want to push her away?” Hannah asked me. We were standing in the
kitchen stuffing the leftovers in the fridge. “I don’t want to push her away, I
just want her to focus on her music first.” I said. “It’s your choice Phil… But
you might lose her in the process.” She said. “I know that Hannah… But what if I
tell her the truth and people start judging and hating on us?” I asked her.
“It’s a risk that you have to take. But it won’t always be that way… People are
going to learn to accept you as a couple.” She said. “It’s just too much of a
risk Hannah… She’s worked her entire life to get to this point… I won’t let it
slip through her hands.” I explained. She just shrugged then continued with what
she was doing.
“Let’s get this over with…” I told Hannah after we’ve
done our chores. “I didn’t know you knew how to act.” Hannah said laughingly as
I led her outside while slinging my arm over her shoulder. “Just bear with me.”
I said with a simple smile. I saw Joshua bestow Colton with a guitar. Colton
looked at Jessica and winked at her. I saw her smile back at him and I felt my
heart drop. That should be me she’s smiling at… not him. I thought to
myself.
Colton started singing Love the way you lie and I
joined along. I felt a twinge of guilt when I saw Jessica staring back at me. I
suddenly remembered singing this song to her when we were on our way to the
studio for the rehearsal. All of a sudden I stood up and walked towards her; I
could no longer stop what I was feeling and knew that I had to tell her the
truth. I knew that I could handle the public backlash our pairing might bring as
long as I had her by my side.
~End of Phillip’s POV~
Still waiting for the next chapter to be published.